The Many Times John Landis Put His Director Pals In His Projects

Because today is the 78th Birthday of THX-1138 and AMERICAN GRAFFITI filmmaker George Lucas, I was reminded of his odd cameo in John Landis’s BEVERLY HILLS COP III (1994). Then I thought about how Landis often had his fellow director friends put in brief appearances in his films, and then I thought that might make a good blog post. So before I think about something else, and forget this thread, let’s take a look at some of the most notable times that this crazy event occurred (this post is far from complete as I skipped over as well as probably missed a number of these instances).

 

The whole Landis and his filmmaker friends cameo calvacade starts with Frank Oz.

A few years before Oz began his filmmaking career co-directing THE DARK CRYSTAL (1982) with Jim Henson (his solo debut as Director was LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS in 1986), the voice behind such major Muppets as Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, and Animal (among many others), made his in-person film debut as “Corrections Officer” in Landis’s THE BLUES BROTHERS (1980). The part consists of Oz drolly, and displaying much disgust, doling out the possessions of John Belushi’s Jake Blues as he’s being released from Chicago’s Joliet Prison. 

In Landis’s beyond misguided 1998 sequel, BLUES BROTHERS 2000, Oz reprises the role, showing that the character is now the Prison Warden, who has the sad task of having to tell Dan Aykroyd’s Elwood Blues, upon his release from Joliet 18 years after the events in the first film, that his brother has passed. Not sure why this important info wasn’t revealed to Elwood before this, but it actually makes for one of the miserable movie’s only heartfelt moments so I’ll drop the questioning.

 

Oz also put in cameos, usually as stern authority figures, in Landis’s AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981), TRADING PLACES (1983), SPIES LIKE US (1985), and INNOCENT BLOOD (1992), which was not only his last appearance in a Landis film, but his last in-person part in a movie until his brief bit in Rian Johnson’s KNIVES OUT, in 2019. 

 

Back to the original BLUES BROTHERS, in which arguably the most famous, and most successful filmmaker in cinema history, Steven Spielberg put in a cameo. It was his film acting debut, as the “Cook County Assessor’s Office Clerk” who helped the black-suited, fedora, and sunglass-wearing music men fulfill their “mission from God.”

After a tragic accident which took the lives of actor Vic Morrow, and two illegally-hired child actors on the set of Landis’s segment for TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE (1983), the director/writer/producer staged a comeback in the 1985 Jeff Goldblum/Michelle Pfeifer vehicle, INTO THE NIGHT. The film was a decent mid ‘80s comedy throwaway, the kind you’d see and quickly forget on cable, but when it came to director cameos it boasted an embarrassment of riches.

Filmmakers Jack Arnold (IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE), Paul Bartel (EATING RAOUL), David Cronenberg (SCANNERS), Jonathan Demme (SILENCE OF THE LAMBS), Richard Franklin (ROAD GAMES), Amy Heckerling (FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH), Jim Henson (pictured above with Landis), Colin Higgins (HAROLD AND MAUDE writer/BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS director), Lawrence Kasdan (BODY HEAT), Paul Mazursky (AN UNMARRIED WOMAN), Daniel Petrie (A RAISIN IN THE SUN), Don Siegel (DIRTY HARRY), and Roger Vadim (BARBARELLA) all popped up throughout INTO THE NIGHT as the movie went, well, deeper into the night.

 

There’s too many of these people to post pics of here (unless I want a blog post a mile long), but here’s one of Cronenberg, whose part, credited as “Group Supervisor” was larger than most of the other directors involved.

Landis’s aforementioned 1985 Chevy Chase/Dan Aykroyd comedy SPIES LIKE US also featured:

 

Joel Coen, and Sam Raimi as “Drive-in Security.” 

And Terry Gilliam as “Dr. Imhaus.” 

Directors Mikael Apted, Ray Harryhausen, and Martin Brest (the director of the original BEVERLY HILLS COP) also put in cameos in SPIES LIKE US, but, again, I don’t want to take up too much space with pics.

Landis’s 1996 Tom Arnold comedy, THE STUPIDS, again featured Cronenberg, as well as more filmmaker bit parts by Robert Wise, Norman Jewison, Atom Egoyan, and Costa-Gavras.

I’ll finish with the cameo that inspired this post, Lucas as “Disappointed Man” in BEVERLY HILLS COP III. Unlike his other appearances in HOOK (1991) as “Man Kissing on Bridge,” and as Baron Papanoida in STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH (2005), he actually has a speaking part: “Hey!” – reacting to Eddie Murphy’s Axl Foley stealing his Sky Whirl ride at the fictional theme park, Wonderworld – and “Come on, let’s go.” Okay, those lines obviously aren’t much, but they do constitute Lucas’s only in-person lines ever in a feature film. Watch the scene if you must:

From how awkward, and stiff, the STAR WARS guru was in this scene, one can only guess that Frank Oz was busy that day.

 

More later…

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2: Here We Go Again...Again

Now playing at a Marvelplex near you...

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2  
(Dir. Marc Webb, 2014)
 

I tried to go into this sequel to the re-boot with an open mind, but it wasn't easy as my enthusiasm for the Spider-Man franchise is at an all-time low these days. I so wasn't into Marc Webb's first entry 2 summers ago; I wrote on this very blog that it seemed "more like a reconfigured remake than a brand new beginning." Well, the sequel is more of the same as it matches a lot of story beats from Sam Raimi's SPIDER-MAN 2 from 10 years ago.

Andrew Garfield is back as the web-shooting super hero who is now haunted by the ghost of NYC Police Captain George Stacy (Denis Leary), who I forgot had died in the first one (shows how much it left my memory). A flashback reminds us that Garfield's Peter Parker had promised Leary's Stacy that he would leave his daughter Gwen (Emma Stone) "out of it," so after a late entrance at their graduation - Spider-Man had to chase down a Russian mobster (Paul Giamatti) who had hijacked a truck filled with tons of Oscorp plutonium, you see - our conflicted protagonist breaks up with the love of his life.

Meanwhile some half-assed villain origin stories are being set up concerning Peter's childhood friend Harry Osborn (Dane DeHaan), who we all know becomes the Green Goblin, and Jamie Foxx as a Oscorp maintenance man who has the bad luck to fall into a tank of genetically modified electric eels.

This happenstance turns Foxx into a blue glowing electric generator that engages in a Times Square-set battle with Spider-Man that's one of the better sequences. Unfortunately its more MAN OF STEEL than SUPERMAN II as there's loads of messy bombastic destruction that had to cause some deaths but you never see them. Instead they cut to a comical shot of Spidey wearing a fireman's helmet and holding a running hose while firefighters are laughing it up all around him.

The plot gets messier with DeHaan scheming to get a transfusion of Spider-Man's blood to fight off his growing illness, Stone considering going to study at Oxford, and Garfield trying to solve a mystery left behind by his late father (Campbell Scott) involving a briefcase and a secret lab. Garfield does this by constructing a Homeland-style cork board of documents, pictures, notecards, press clippings, string tying them all together, etc. I bet that's not far off from how screenwriters Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci (STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS) along with Jeff Pinkner (James Vanderbilt is also given a story credit) constructed the screenplay.

At an overstuffed 142 minutes, THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN is tiresome and uninspired franchise filler. There is some charming chemistry between Garfield and Stone, who are dating in real life, but the insipid dialogue they're given sabotages them on almost every line.

That's just one of many of the movie's problems. The humor feels off, Hans Zimmer's score is generically overwrought, Giamatti is too ridiculously over-the-top, the theme of Peter trying to sell the world (or at least his still unseen Editor J. Jonah Jameson) on Spider-Man being here to help is cheesily handled, Leary's ghost is a poor plot mechanism, Sally Field as Aunt May isn't given anything to do, and a major character getting killed (I'm not Spoiling who) doesn't have anywhere close to the emotional impact it's going for. Even the Stan Lee cameo falls flat.

One of the film's few plusses is its design, and ace cinematography by Daniel Mindel. But even with the effects advancing further forward, Webb's SPIDER-MAN is still toiling in the aesthetics of the Raimi/Tobey Maguire trilogy. It's like they are content to stand in those superior chapters' shadow, without any motivation to put their own distinct stamp on the classic comic book character.

Sony has unsurprisingly got SPIDER-MAN 3 and 4 already scheduled for 2016 and 2018 to fill the spaces between the more promising installments of the Marvel Universe (THE AVENGERS, IRON-MAN, CAPTAIN AMERICA, et al). This is really only good news to the diehard fanboys, because I bet the rest of us will think twice about ponying up for such subpar Spider-man entries like this one.

More later...

New Releases On Blu Ray & DVD: 5/14/13

Andy Wachowski, Lana Wachowski, and Tom Tykwer’s CLOUD ATLAS, starring Tom Hanks (Reader Digest's most trusted man in America), along with Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, and Ben Whishaw (all playing multiple roles), comes out today in a Blu-ray/DVD + UltraViolet Digital Copy Combo Pack and a standard stand-alone DVD release. The film, which I called “epically entertaining but empty” in my review when the film was released theatrically last October, is joined by 7 “Focus Point” featurettes that add up to around an hour.

Next up, the newest addition to the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE franchise, John Luessenhop’s TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D is out today in a 3D Blu-ray + Blu-ray + Digital Copy + UltraViolet package and a single disc 2D DVD (also contains Digital Copy + UltraViolet). I don’t have a 3D TV so I can’t speak for that aspect, but the movie, which picks up where Tobe Hooper’s 1974 original film ends (with footage from the first to boot), is pretty trashy and stupid, yet still fun, if you have no issues with gory deaths that is.

TEXAS CHAINSAW comes with a mess of Special Features including three (!) commentaries including and a “Chainsaw Alumni” commentary featuring stars Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen, Marilyn Burns and John Dugan, eight featurettes, an alternate opening, and the theatrical trailer. This is reportedly a reboot to kick off a new 6-part series to rival the SAW franchise. If that’s the case, count me out.

Roman Copppola’s really strange looking A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES SWAN III, starring Charlie Sheen, Jason Schwartzman, and Bill Murray, is also among today’s releases in single disc Blu Ray and DVD editions (no Digital copies or UltraViolet included here). It got awful reviews (it holds a 16% “rotten” rating on Rotten Tomatoes), but I still can’t help putting it in my queue. Special Features: a 25 minute “making of” featurette, a 12 minute segment about one of the real life graphic artists whose work inspired director Coppola, and a commentary with Coppola, who also co-wrote the ill-fated production. 

On the older film front, today’s releases include a Criterion Collection edition of Delmer Dave’s classic 1957 Western 3:10 TO YUMA on both Blu ray and DVD, three Hal Hartley films (his 1989 debut THE UNBELIEVABLE TRUTH, 1988’s THE BOOK OF LIFE, and 2005’s THE GIRL FROM MONDAY) also hit both formats, as does Sam Raimi’s 1985 comedy CRIMEWAVE, co-written with the Coen brothers, another film I gotta queue up. 

Finally, the 21-disc Fraggle Rock: 30th Anniversary Collection is available from (on DVD only, which is just as well since the image is often as fuzzy as the Fraggles themselves), containing all 96 episodes from the HBO show's mid '80s run with a bunch of Special Features (2 discs worth) and a Red Fraggle mini-plush. 

If this set is way too much of Jim Henson’s Fraggles than you or your kids can take, there is a neat 6 episode sampler DVD also out today: “Meet the Fraggles” (pictured above on the left) which has some of the best episodes from the show’s 4 seasons, especially the wonderful song-filled first episode “Beginnings,” which is one of Henson’s best half hour productions ever, and considering how good the 5 seasons of The Muppet Show are that’s saying a lot. Speaking of The Muppet Show, seasons 4 and 5 are still not available on DVD! Somebody do something about this!

As always for a complete list of what’s out today on Blu ray and DVD check out Amazon’s New Releases department.

More later…

OZ: Not A Bomb But No Magical Masterpiece Either

Opening today at nearly every multiplex in the Triangle area:

OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL 
(Dir. Sam Raimi, 2013)

At one point in this movie, Sam Raimi’s lavish prequel to “The Wizard of Oz,” when James Franco as the title character is making his way through the Land of Oz, I half expected him to run into a gang of Hobbits. These lush green 3D fantasy worlds can really look alike, you see.

Raimi is counting on familiarity here, with plot points matching the beats of the 1939 original (even has an extended black and white opening), but as keen on the details as he and his crew are, OZ feels like just another souped-up fairy tale update, interchangeable with the kind of projects Tim Burton and Johnny Depp have been doing for the last decade or so. 

It's a notch above, say, Burton's ALICE IN WONDERLAND, but not enough of a notch that makes it anything special. If it really was something special, it wouldn't be releasing at this time of year.

Franco certainly puts in an energetic performance as carnival magician con-artist Oscar Diggs, especially when he finds himself in a hot air balloon caught in a tornado. That's when he calls upon some 127 HOURS-ish method skills. Unfortunately the film's comic thread of Franco reacting to fantasical events with a modern day wiseacre delivery goes down as badly as it did in YOUR HIGHNESS.

On his journey on the Yellow Brick Road through the Dark Forest to Emerald City, Franco meets a cast of characters including some counter-parts to folks he knew back in black and white Kansas including Zack Braff as Finley the Flying Monkey (a CGI-ed monkey sidekick in a bellhop uniform, mind you), Michelle Williams as Glenda, Mina Kunis as Theodora (looking, at first, positively like a porcelain creation), China Girl (an actual porcelain creation via CGI voiced by Joey King) and Rachel Weisz as Evanora. 

The trio of beauties, Williams, Kunis and Weisz all become witches (one good, two bad), with Kunis getting transformed the most into the iconic green-skinned Wicked Witch of the West who screeches at the top of her lungs, and yes, gives us an ample sampling of that famous cackle. Kunis does her best, but still seems miscast, and the story-line of how she feels wronged by Franco isn't satisfyingly fleshed out.

The premise of a selfish scoundrel finding redemption by becoming what others believe in, in this case, the Munchkins, the tinkers, and the farmers of Oz thinking that Franco is their wizard savior from the reign of the Wicked Witches and using his trickery he becomes just that, is a well worn one that packs very little power in this all too conventional family friendly fairy tale.

There's a sometimes jarring disconnect between Franco and the artificial landscape surrounding him. I haven't been as aware of the heavy use of green screen since the STAR WARS prequels. In one bit, another allusion to the original WIZARD OF OZ, which has Franco and Williams travelling in bubbles in the sky, it was hard not to visualize the actors stumbling around on a sound stage - the desired effect of experiencing a different world sure wasn't happening there. Raimi's SPIDER-MAN movies are much more visually convincing.

OZ isn't directly based on any of L. Frank Baum's original Oz novels - it's supposed to be set a few decades before the first one ("The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" from 1900) - so it's a prequel to both the books and the 1939 movie, but despite the efforts of the capable cast, the savvy director, over 20 writers (that's right), and hundreds of computer animators it comes off more like glorified fan fiction than canon.

Still, it's not a total bomb; it's passable entertainment if you don't go in expecting a magical masterpiece (and if you're a Raimi fan you'll enjoy the Bruce Campbell cameo). It also may inspire some kids to seek out Baum's books, and watch the 1939 classic so there's that. 

More later...

SPIDER-MAN Restarts

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN (Dir. Mark Webb, 2012)

Sure, it may seem too soon to re-boot the Spider-man franchise, but it’s a big profitable series for Sony so, of course, they’re going to keep it going.

That’s fine, but despite a likable new cast, headed by Andrew Garfield taking over from Tobey Maguire as the webbed crusader, and an intriguing variation on the origin story, THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN seems more like a reconfigured remake than a brand new beginning.

Director Webb (fitting, huh?), recreates the aesthetics, tone, and formula of Sam Raimi's Spider-man trilogy so precisely that the movie can’t help but seem redundant. Especially when it hits the same story beats as the 2002 original. In this film’s origin story, Garfield’s Peter Parker, who is less of a dweeb than Macguire mostly due to his hip bedhead hair-do, gets bitten by a genetically-modified spider at an Oscorp Industries lab while trying to get to the bottom of mysterious death of his parents.

Oscorp, as folks well versed in Spider-man mythology should well know, is the ginormous weapons manufacturer, whose cross-species experiments really need to be better regulated.

Garfield’s love-interest (Emma Stone as Gwen Stacey), and adversary (Rhys Ifans as Dr. Curt Connors, later The Lizard), both work at the Oscorp Tower, which was almost added to the skyline in THE AVENGERS, where the film’s finale, arguably its most impressive CGI sequence, takes place.

We get to go through Uncle Ben attempting to be a father figure to our hero again, but since he’s played this time byMartin Sheen - I’m not complaining. Sally Field is also a successful, yet underused recasting, but Dennis Leary is the best change-up present as NYC Police Captain George Stacy (played in Spidey 3 by James Cromwell), Gwen’s father.

Leary has the best lines (such as“Thirty-eight of New York's finest, versus one guy in a unitard”), and his gruff cynical attitude fills in for the missing Daily Bugle Chief J. Jonah Jameson appropriately.

Garfield, Stone, and Ifans put in fine thoughtful performances, but there isn't much room for them to truly embody their characters. Though, in a movie like this, could there ever be?

As I said before, THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN covers many of the same plot points as the 2002 take but it doesn’t have as much fun with the material. Raimi’s version had a zip to it, and a strong sense of humor, that this film can’t match. Through an equally excellent sequel and a less liked, but still okay, third film, Raimi and Macguire rebranded the super hero for the modern age.

Here the web that Webb weaves (sorry, couldn’t resist), along with screenwriters James Vanderbilt (ZODIAC), Alvin Sargett (co-writter of SPIDER-MAN 2 & 3, and Steve Kloves (screenwriter of the bulk of the HARRY POTTER film series), is taken from the strands of the previous trilogy’s DNA.

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN is a reasonably well made comic book action film that has its moments - including possibly the best Stan Lee cameo in a Marvel movie ever - yet it still reeks of ‘been there, done that.’

There's just not enough of a new angle or fresh invention to make this essential viewing.

But if you haven’t seen any Spider-man movies before, maybe you’ll dig it. Or maybe if you just want another noisy summer super hero movie to take the kids to. If you haven’t already taken them to see THE AVENGERS, eh - this should do.

More later...

Blu Ray Review: DRAG ME TO HELL

DRAG ME TO HELL (Dir. Sam Raimi, 2009)



There's a not-so-inside joke not too far into this movie that fans of Raimi's past work will definitely appreciate. 

Bank loan officer Allison Lohman gets a curse put on her by a old one-eyed gypsy woman (Lorna Raver) when she denies a third loan extension on the mortgage on the hag's home. Lohman's life gets angrily assaulted from every angle by a demonic force that only she experiences resulting in one bloody trauma after another. 

Her perpetually nice boyfriend Justin Long tries to console her and suggests they take a trip away from it all. "The cabin?" She asks as her face lights up. "Yeah, if you're up for it, the cabin!" he good naturedly suggests. "There's trees and it will be private." 

Yeah, right! It's no Spoiler to tell you that they never make it to that cabin in the woods. That was a shout out and not-so-subtle sign that Raimi is back to his old gruesome game; a head first trip into EVIL DEAD territory after years of SPIDERMAN spectacle (albeit retaining the CGI) but this time there's a meaty moralistic story behind all the gore. With her wide eyes, golden locks, and school girl clothes, Lohman is not one you'd expect would fare well against the forces of darkness and that's precisely the point. 

We feel for her as she's being usurped at work by a new conniving co-worker (Reggie Lee) and is down about the damning disapproval of her boyfriend's parents. Then her boss (the always reliable deadpan David Paymer) tells her to get the assistant manager position she desires, she's going to have to show that she can make tough decisions.



Unfortunately the before mentioned one-eyed gypsy lady happens to be next in line and Lohman makes that potentially fatal error in judgment. Later after a violent parking garage confrontation, the crazy crone grabs a button off Lohman's coat and with it places that calamitous curse. 

Lohman desperately tries to shake the curse, turning to a storefront psychic (Dileep Rao) who identifies the invisible evil entity who is tormenting her as the Lamia - an ancient powerful demon beast who, unless she finds a way to reverse the curse, after 3 days will indeed drag her to Hell. 

Among the tasty twists in this tale there's a séance sequence conducted by Adrianna Barraza in which various participants are possessed by the Lamia. The séance involves a goat, a lot of screaming (Lohman's a great screamer), and lines like: "You're okay? Unbelievable!" in case you are wondering. DRAG ME TO HELL is funny, scary, and extremely well-made with as much wit as it has disgusting bodily fluids flowing. 

It has a sweet balance between nightmarish bombast and down-time scenes with Lohman and Long that resemble rom com fodder (most folks know though that such scenes are there to trick not comfort us). 

It's a welcome reminder that modern horror movies don't always have to be wretched remakes or SAW sequels, there can be actual thought to the terror and the narratives too. It's great to see that despite swimming in the mainstream for so long Raimi still has enough blood and guts gusto to pull off a project like this - a PG-13 one at that. It also speaks to the times that all this torture comes from the actions of one's ambition at the cost of another's life. 

Even if it is too simplistic to truly make any serious ethical statement, the idea that a seemingly decent person has to painfully pay the ultimate price for a selfish in-the-moment mistake - the kind a lot of us make every day - now that's horror. 

More later...

5 Things Spider-Man 3 Got Pretty RIGHT / 5 Things It Got Drastically WRONG

So yeah, I saw Sam Raimi's big new superhero sequel SPIDER-MAN 3, which opened last weekend. It's been getting tremendous amount of backlash - for example, Manohla Dargis of the New York Times called it "aesthetically and conceptually wrung out." Many others have lamented that the fun has gone out of the series, and while I wouldn't exactly say that, I do agree that it is a very mixed bag. Here's how mixed:

5 Things SPIDER-MAN 3 Got Pretty RIGHT: 

1. Much better special effects: In the first two installments, Spider-man (Tobey Maquire) web-slinging his way from building to building looked video gamey, and at times borderline absurd, but now has a fluid graceful believability. 

Nice to see that the reportedely most expensive movie ever has its money up there on the screen.

2. The Sandman: 

Thomas Haden Church is perfectly cast as escaped felon Flint Marco who accidentally fell into an experimental particle physics site that molecularly binds him with sand, so he gets fantastical shape-shifting powers. Like all the villains in the franchise he's really not evil deep down in his heart - he's just computer generated that way.

3. The Black Suit: Yep, shiny goth Spidey looks pretty cool. That was evident in the trailers from a year ago though. But no - I'm not gonna copy 'n paste that same ole brooding dark SPIDERMAN in "the thinker" pose promo photo and post it here.

4. Venom: Though only named in the credits - a satisfyingly scary villain (especially when he grits his teeth) albeit in a movie with one villain too many - damn I said I'd save the cons and there I went again. Anyway since the other half of this element is covered in the cons I'll just say this - Venom has bite. 

5. The obligatory yet hugely satisfying Stan Lee and Bruce Campbell cameos: Appropriately cheesy Spider-man creator Stan Lee's quick pep-talk appearance to a battered soul-fried Parker hits the spot - "You know, I guess one person really can make a difference...". You tell him Marvel Man! And wouldn't we all feel cheated if we didn't get Bruce Campbell for the third time to cameo? His pretentious French Maitre d' may not have anything on John Cleese in MONTY PYTHON'S THE MEANING OF LIFE but in this film it's one of the only bits of comedy that worked - "I love romance. I am French."

Now to let the disses truly fly: 

5 things SPIDERMAN 3 got drastically WRONG:

1. J.K. Simmons: As newspaper editor J. Jonah Jameson Simmons was dead on in the first 2 installments but here his fast talking manipulative shtick is tired, unfunny and only annoys the audience every time he appears. 

Maybe it was Simmons' Simpsons appearance from last season that fully wore down the character - "stop the presses, send my wife some flowers, get me an Advil - what do you mean you don't work for me? You're hired! Now that you're hired you're fired. Now that you don't work here we can be friends - now that we're friends how come you don't call? Some friend you are!" I guess once the Simpsons has got you down your gig is up.

2. The Harry Osbourn (James Franco) amnesia subplot: As a writer I always dislike the "he lost his memory" plot-line that has been a longtime cheat of sitcoms, - Hell it made me swear off the show 24 forever. Despite that Franco sells it to the best of his ability, It's such lazy screenwriting to have Harry conveniently have his recent revenge fueled memory erased after such an unimpressive alleyway tussle with our hero.

3. Kirsten Dunst sings 2 songs: Yes, I know it's from the original comic that Mary Jane Watson is an aspiring actress, a wannabe Broadway singing star, but nobody, and I mean nobody, was buying a ticket to see her warble through two complete numbers. Show stoppers in the worst way.

4. The extended black gunk from outer space that turns Peter Parker into an asshole sequence: Yes, the black suit looks cool, as I noted above, but the gunk, an alien symbiote (some sort of parasite) coming from a small meteorite that attaches itself to Spidey's suit brings out the jerk in Parker in a painful sequence. Looking like strands of Twistler's candy dipped in tar - the ooze infiltrates Peter's nice guy mentality and promptly makes him strut around Manhattan with an entitled attitude, which makes him come on like Jim Carrey in BRUCE ALMIGHTY. This whole bit should have been a deleted scene. 

5. Topher Grace/ The Overall Bloat : I loop these together because as scary cool as Venom was and maybe that was because it's the only less-is-more element here - the entire Topher Grace origins of the character are lame, it comes in way too late in the story to have proper impact. Grace's overall smarminess is pretty hard to stomach too. 

The two and a half hour flick is crammed with too many incidental characters and go nowhere plot threads. Also, do we seriously need a scene of Franco and Dunst making an omelet? Repeated appearances by Peter's landlord and daughter Ursula? Really?! And did I mention Kirsten Dunst sings two full songs?!!? Okay, well at least I got that all out of my system.

More later...

Another Summer Of Sequels & Remakes

“I don't take the movies seriously, and anyone who does is in for a headache.” - Bette Davis 

SEQUEL SEASON IS IN SESSION!

This summer no less than 80% of all releases are sequels to successes of summer’s past. Here’s some of the most notable: 

SPIDER-MAN 2 (Dir. Sam Raimi) Here's hoping that this sequel lives up to the promise of its kick-ass trailer.

SHREK 2 (Dirs. Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, & Conrad Vernon) Don't have hopes as high for this one.

THE PRINCESS DIARIES 2: ROYAL ENGAGEMENT (Dir. Gary Marshall) Yep, the world was dying for this one. 

BEFORE SUNSET (Dir. Richard Linklater) 

My Spidey-sense is tingling that this follow-up to BEFORE SUNRISE that re-unites Linklater with stars Ethan Hawke and Julia Delphy from the much loved 1995 indie might be the most worthwhile sequel of the summer. 

THE BOURNE SUPREMACY (Dir. Paul Greengrass) Apparently the BOURNE IDENTITY wasn't just one of the biggest box office hits of 2002, it was the most rented movie of 2003. So here's a sequel.

HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (Dir. Alfonso Cuarón)

AVP: ALIEN VS. THE PREDATOR (Dir. Paul W.S. Anderson)

EXORCIST : THE BEGINNING (Dir. Renny Harlin)

Most of the 20% of the remaining releases this summer are remakes of cult classics. The cream of the crop:

THE STEPFORD WIVES (Dir. Frank Oz)

THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (Dir. Jonathan Demme) Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep do their best to answer the question - remake the perfect classic - why? Doubt they'll have a convincing answer.

SOUL PLANE (Dir. Jessy Terrero ): AIRPLANE! with black people, that's the pitch. Seriously. Snoop Dog stars.

More later...