
Usually I avoid when movies are shown on broadcast television because they're edited-for-time full-screen versions - I mean it's almost like they don't count. But sometimes when I come upon a movie I like when changing channels I've found they are sometimes worth watching for the re-dubbing of profane lines.
SCARFACE above, and THE EXORCIST are famous for their creative hilarious for-all-audiences re-toolings. Not content to just use 'freak' or 'freaking' the censors picked every other f-word (frozen, fruitful, foolish, etc.) in the dictionary to cover all the 'fucks' in a recent airing of FARGO. It's quite a different movie when you see Steve Buscemi yelling "you foolish people!" after being shot in the face you know? These are some other funny examples:
THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998) Original line : "You see what happens Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass?" - Walter (John Goodman) Edited line : “You see what happens Larry when you find a stranger in the Alps?”
Also : "This is what happens when you pump a stranger's gas!" and “What the frog?” – Barry (Jack Black) HIGH FIDELITY (2000)

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998) “Froggin’ ashpole” - Ted (Ben Stiller) to Pat (Matt Dillon)
PLATOON (1986) “Come on maggot farmer, move!” - Pvt. Chris Taylor (Charlie Sheen)
SCARFACE (1983) Original Line: "How'd you get that scar? Eating pussy?" - Immigration Officer (Garnett Smith) Edited Line: “how’d you get that scar? Eating Pineapple?” (also “pudding”)

DIE HARD (1988) Original Line: "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!" - John McClane (Bruce Willis) Edited Line: "Yippie-kye-ay, Mister Falcon!"

GOODFELLAS (1990) Original Line : "You're a fuckin' mumblin', stutterin' little fuck" Tommy (Joe Pesci) Edited Line : "You're a friggin' mumblin', stutterin' little fink."

PULP FICTION (1994) Original Line : "I got my eyes wide fuckin' open!" - Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) Edited Line: "I got my eyes wide focused open!"
ROBOCOP (1987)

Send your favorite 'edited for TV' lines to: Boopbloop7@gmail.com

So if Peter O'Toole was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving would his mug shot look an better or worse than the poster for his latest film?
Discuss.

More later...