March Film Babble: LIFE & THE LAST WORD

I’ve been too busy working on a book project (more on that later) to babble much these days about movies, but here’s a few films I’ve seen recently that I’ll weigh in on:

LIFE (Dir. Daniel Espinosa, 2017)

It’s often been said that ALIEN, is a “haunted house in space” movie, and that’s certainly the case with this movie which takes Ridley Scott’s 1980 sci-fi classic, and mixes it with Alfonso Cuarón’s GRAVITY.

LIFE concerns a crew made up of Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, Rebecca Ferguson, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ariyon Bakare, and Olga Dihovichnaya returning from a mission to Mars on the International Space Station with a soil sample that contains a single-celled organism.

The organism, which is named Calvin by schoolchildren in a Times Square ceremony back on earth, quickly grows into a multi-celled Flubber-like creature that starts killing the crew members one by one.

That’s basically it for the plot, as it’s all about the familiar fight for survival tropes that keep trapping the remaining cast members at every turn. There is some genuine suspense, and some stellar effects, but I found a great deal of tedium to be in orbit with these one-note characters.

I will give kudos to the dark, twisted ending, despite the fact that it could easily set up a sequel as the idea of a LIFE franchise makes me cringe. But since this film flopped at the box office, it doesn’t look like that’s something I have to worry about.

THE LAST WORD (Dir. Mark Pellington, 2017)




If you didn’t get enough of Shirley MacLaine as a controlling, crotchety old woman that everyone in town hates in Richard Linklater’s BERNIE, then this is the movie for you.

MacLaine plays Harriett Lauler, a wealthy, retired divorcee who wants to shape her legacy by getting newspaper obituary writer Amanda Seyfried to craft her eulogy before she’s dead.

This leads to all kinds of cutesy-ness, with MacLaine’s Harriett mentoring an underprivileged black 9-year-old (AnnJewel Lee Dixon), becoming a DJ at a college indie rock radio station, and sticking it to the suits at the advertising agency that screwed her over.

It’s one of those movies where everybody appears to be a familiar face.

There’s Gedde Watanabe, best known as Long Duck Dong in SIXTEEN CANDLES (don’t expect a gong here), as Harriett’s gardener; there’s Tom Everett Scott from THAT THING YOU DO! As Seyfried’s editor, Joel Murray (Bill’s brother of many credits, but you may know him best from Mad Men) as Harriett’s former colleague, Thomas Sadoski from The Newsroom as Harriett’s radio station manager, Phillip Baker Hall as Harriett’s ex-husband, who has one of the film’s better scenes; and, yes, that’s Anne Heche as Harriett’s estranged daughter, who has one of the film’s worst scenes.

The script by first time screenwriter does have ambition at times so there are moments of wit and honesty, but more often it feels like TV melodrama sprinkled with hot or miss one-liners.

The irony in this movie about a woman wanting to be fondly remembered when she’s gone, is that MacLaine should have no such worry. She has an impressive filmography including a few of my favorite films, like THE APARTMENT and BEING THERE, so a lightweight piece of cheese like this won’t hurt her legacy at all.

More later...

Tragedy + Time = BERNIE

BERNIE (Dir. Richard Linklater, 2012)

Is it really true that comedy is tragedy plus time? Or is that just something Alan Alda’s loathsome character pretentiously pontificated in Woody Allen’s CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS?

Well, Richard Linklater’s latest, BERNIE, takes the true story of a Texas mortician who kills a wealthy widow, and makes a matter-of-fact comic docudrama out of it that really works.

It’s not a case of “too soon” as it happened over 15 years ago, but even back then the facts surrounding the murder were more than just a little amusing.

Jack Black, in maybe his finest performance, reunites with his SCHOOL OF ROCK director Linklater to portray the title character, Bernie Tiede, who was the most beloved man in Carthage, Texas back in the mid ‘90s. And by a lot of accounts, he still is much loved in that tiny town, despite the fact that he, you know, shot an 81-year old woman 4 times in the back.

Bernie’s tale is told in large part by a number of actual Carthage town folk, in interview segments that frame the dramatized version of events. We are told, time and time again, what a good Christian, and respected figure of the community Bernie was. Folks often speculated about his sexuality because of his effeminate nature (which Black nails), and what exactly was his relationship with his later victim, Marjorie Nugent (sharply depicted by Shirley MacLaine), who he doted on.

Bernie’s reputation for being a standout gospel singer in the church choir is brought to life by Black’s sincere vocalizing, as is Tiede’s staging of local productions of Broadway musicals.

As the mean old Marjorie (one of the interviewees says: “there were people in town, honey, that would’ve shot her for five dollars”) MacLaine is also well suited. She’s played many surly acerbic characters like this, but here it’s a better fit than in the rom coms and melodramas she has been appearing in as of late.

The murder itself is shown in the film as a momentary lapse for an otherwise all-around decent man. But his handling of the situation by putting her in a freezer, and spending tons of her money in the months following, is where one can’t help but nervously giggle.

Especially when it takes nine months for Bernie to be found out, because, well nobody, except her accountant, missed Marjorie.

The reason for the killing, one that he blurts out while sobbing, is that Marjorie was cruelly monopolizing Bernie’s time. She orders him around, even getting him a pager, and insults his manhood. Still, he could’ve just walked away – he wasn’t obligated to take care of this old woman – but as one of the town folk says, he didn’t want to forsake his meal ticket.

A slick as always Matthew McConaughey (like Linklater a real Texan) plays Danny “Buck” Davidson, the self-promoting lawyer trying to convict Bernie. His bemusement at how the Carthage people stand behind Bernie is amply humorous, as is gung ho determination to win (he has to move the trial 50 miles away to St. Augustine in order to avoid acquittal).

With this kind of material, and with Black on board, they could’ve really gone over the top, but Linklater and crew never lose their grounding. The film sets a tone and stays with it, largely because of Black’s dialing back on his famous funny man persona.

The only complaints I have are iPhones weren’t around in the ‘90s, and that when they show pictures of the real people at the end (vacation photos of Tiede and Nugent together mostly), they don’t show us a picture of Danny “Buck” - presumably because he looks nothing like McConaughey.

Apart from that, BERNIE makes a solid case for the tragedy + time equation.

And stay through the end credits to see a brief glimpse of Black with the real Bernie, and film of James Baker performing his song “Bernie, What Have You Done?”

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10 Slapped Actresses

“Sometimes fake fights turn out bad/Sometimes, actresses get slapped.

Some nights, makin’ it look real might end up with someone hurt.

Some nights, it’s just entertainment, and, some other nights, it’s real.”

These lines from the track “Slapped Actress” from the latest album, Stay Positive, by New York rawkers The Hold Steady call upon the neo-realism of the films of the independent film innovator John Cassevettes. Written and sung by feisty front-man Craig Finn, who was influenced by watching a friend’s Cassevettes DVD box set, the song shines a theater spot-light on the hazy line between art and real life.

For those of you unfamiliar with the song here is a live clip from YouTube (albeit crudely recorded, but you should know how that goes) of The Hold Steady performing it live.

Since the impact of a slap in the face can not be easily faked and such a dramatic device is so effective yet so still such a common place cliché (think soap operas) I thought it would be somewhat insightful to look at the case studies of:

10 Slapped Actresses

1. Gena Rowlands in OPENING NIGHT
(Dir. John Cassavetes, 1977)

The Hold Steady’s “Slapped Actress” directly references all the principles of this film: “We are the actors. The cameras are rollin’. I’ll be Ben Gazzara, you’ll be Gena Rowlands” and “We’re the directors - our hands will hold steady. I’ll be John Cassavettes—let me know when you’re ready.” Finn in an interview with Uncut Magazine elaborated: “I was really taken by the scene where Cassavetes wants to slap Gena Rowlands, and he says, ‘If I don't really slap you, it won't look real for the performance.’

And she says ‘It’s a play, why would you have to actually slap me, that's the whole point.’ That kinda connected with the way I think people are preoccupied with my relationship with the characters I write about. I’ve always said no one really cares whether Quentin Tarantino kills people or does karate but for a songwriter there’s this question of a perceived honesty, that your songs are the story of your life.”

A slap is one of the potent forms of delivery, so to speak. Rowlands after protesting is told by Manny (Gazzara): “It’s a tradition. Actresses get slapped. It’s mandatory you get hit.” Rowlands does eventually get hit but as convoluted as it may be it’s on her own weird terms. Rowland’s Myrtle goes through the motions of a dying diva later commnented on by The Hold Steady’s sing-along concluding chorus which says of this brand of “perceived honesty”: “we make our own movies, we make our own movies...”

2. Faye Dunaway in CHINATOWN

(Dir. Roman Polanski, 1971) 

(Major Spoiler!) “She’s my daughter [slap]...my sister [slap]...She’s my daughter [slap]...my sister [slap]...my daughter [slap]. She’s my sister and my daughter!” Dunaway gets multiple slaps from Jack Nicholson as not so hard nosed (he had his nose sliced by the knife of Polanski playing a small time hood) detective Jake Gittes who had no possible patience left.

According to the IMDb: “After several takes that never looked quite right, Dunaway told Nicholson to actually slap her. He did, and the scene made it into the movie.” Dunaway got her slap happy revenge years later in MOMMIE DEAREST playing Joan Crawford - who I’ll get to later.

3. Diane Keaton in THE GODFATHER PART II
(Dir. Francis Ford Coppola, 1974)

In arguably one of the most powerful confrontation scenes between a husband and a wife in cinema history, Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) reacts violently upon being told Kay (Keaton) not only wants a divorce but that she had an abortion because she feels this “Sicilian thing” must end. This sends him over the line in what looks incredibly like the real thing – his incensed slap sends her reeling back onto a hotel sofa.

No quotes from Keaton on whether it was authentic but this passage from Deborah C. Micthell’s biography “Diane Keaton: Artist And Icon” is pretty noteworthy: “When her parents saw Godfather II in Los Angeles, the audience applauded when Michael slapped Kay in the confrontation scene. She (Keaton) defensively explained: ‘he was a horrible character…I say to Hell with those people who applaud. My parents were with me.’” Watch the scene on YouTube here and see if you would applaud.

4. Charlize Theron in HANCOCK
(Dir.Peter Berg, 2008)


 
This is from a mediocre summer superhero-with-a-twist Will Smith vehicle, mind you - but to be fair I liked the first half of said film with the slap appearing to perfectly divide it. Theron went on the record: “He tried to fake slap me one time, but the fake one just didn’t happen. We’re still debating this one. I think he just hit me! But Will claims I leaned into his hand and that’s how it happened. I was so shocked! I was like, ‘He just slapped me!’”

Then to another source she said: “But he said, ‘I did not slap you. I had my hand there and you turned into it’” Theron, however, insisted that the incident did not sour their relationship. “We’re just like kids, it’s so much fun. He’s not a woman beater!” she said. Whatever the case, the Will Smith bitch slap will no doubt echo through out the ages...

4. Michelle Pfeifer in WOLF (Dir. Mike Nichols, 1994) 

This was another incident that inspired this post - recently Christopher Plummer revealed in his new memoir (“In Spite Of Myself”) : “I had to lose my temper and slap [Michelle] in the face . . . Gazing into those deep, limpid eyes of hers, I was so hypnotized, my expertise at faking a slap utterly deserted me and I let her have it with full barrels.” He lamented that it was: “one of the worst days of my life.” Again I believe, Arthur Christopher Orme Plummer, should just take comfort in the “sometimes actresses get slapped” clause. 

5. Brigitte Bardot in CONTEMPT  (Dir. Jean-Luc Godard, 1963) 

 

I recently saw this again, for the first time on the big screen, and I had forgotten about the slap Michelle Piccoli lays on Brigitte Bardot's face during their lengthy domestic argument. The sequence which takes place at their flat is a painful but compelling series of break-ups and make-ups with the slap coming midway as Phillip Locate in the New York Times noted: “In any film today, a man slapping a woman would end the scene, but in Contempt we keep watching the sequence for 25 more minutes, as the adjustments to that slap are digested.” It is indeed startling how Bardot brushes off the abuse, to her character Camille it seems like just yet another daily indignity.

6. Marisa Tomei in IN THE BEDROOM (Dir. Todd Field, 2001)

 

File this under “when actresses slap other actresses”. In what Roger Ebert called “the most violent and shocking moment in a violent film” Sissy Spacek slaps a hysterical Marisa Tomei. According to IMDb: “There were 15 takes of Sissy Spacek slapping Marisa Tomei. The final version of the film used the first take.” Looks like Tomei sure was a trooper in the “slapped actress” department there!

7. Anne Baxter in ALL ABOUT EVE (Dir. Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1950)

Joseph L. Mankiewicz’s Academy Award winning screenplay describes the action between Addison (George Sanders and Eve (Anne Baxter) as follows: She smiles. Then she chuckles, then laughs. A mistake. Addison slaps her sharply across the face.

Actually there are many comparable slaps from movies from this era and it’s a quick cold one but it’s a personal favorite because I (and I’m sure many audiences) so wanted to slap Eve throughout the whole movie. Incidentally there was a little known semi-remake called SLAP HER...SHE'S FRENCH.

8. Shirley Maclaine in THE APARTMENT (Dir. Billy Wilder, 1960)

As Dr. Dreyfuss, Jack Kruschen really strikes Maclaine’s face exactly as written in Wilder’s and I.A.L. Diamond’s screenplay (also an Academy Award winning script):

With his free hand, Dr. Dreyfuss slaps Fran viciously across the face. Bud winces. Dreyfuss, still holding Fran by the hair, takes a box of ammonia ampules out of his bag. He crushes one of the ampules in his hand, passes it under her nose. Fran tries to turn her head away. Dreyfuss slaps her again, hard, crushes another ampule, repeats the process.

9. Joan Crawford in WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? (Dir. Robert Aldrich, 1962)

Bette Davis and Joan Crawford famously did not get along so there is absolutely no doubt this slap is real. Apparently mere slaps were the least of their worries according to Wikipedia: “During a scene after Blanche makes a desperate attempt to call Jane's doctor, Blanche is kicked around by Jane. In reality, Crawford had several broken ribs from the scene, as Davis had really kicked her." Crawford also felt pretty symbolically slapped later when she wasn't nominated for an Oscar for the film while Davis was.

10. Lee Bryant in AIRPLANE! (Dirs. Jim Abrams & Jerry Zucker, 1980) 

 

Thought I’d end on a comical note with definitely the fakest slaps not just on this list but possibly in movie history. As frightened passenger Mrs. Hammen (but probably better referred to as “hysterical woman”), Bryant starts freaking out: “I can't stand it anymore...I've got to get out of here!” A stewardress tries to restrain her then another passenger takes over, then Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielson) all repeating “calm down, get a hold of yourself!”


Soon enough just about everybody on board is lining up to slap (or worse) the troubled traveler. Watch the clip here. There are hundreds, if not thousands more slapped actresses out there but that’s my top ten and I’m sticking with it. Of course, there are many slapped actors as well but I was keeping with The Hold Steady song that inspired the post. Still may do a “slapped actors” post someday – so stay tuned.

More later...