It’s A JURASSIC, JURASSIC, JURASSIC, JURASSIC WORLD

Now playing at a monster-sized multiplex near you:

JURASSIC WORLD (Dir. Colin Trevorrow, 2015)

There are only two plot points in every JURASSIC PARK movie. They are as follows: #1. There are dinosaurs – that’s amazing! #2. We must now get the Hell away from them.

It’s been 22 years since the highly praised first film in the franchise which was based on the 1990 Michael Crichton bestseller, and 14 years since the heavily maligned third entry, but those same elements are strongly intact in this fourth installment.

They just added some new faces on top of the premise that we’re now dealing with a fully functioning theme park, and a new hybrid dinosaur designed to wow the kids because, as park operations manager Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) puts it: “Let’s face it, no one’s impressed by a dinosaur anymore.”

This “new” adventure concerns Claire’s nephews (Nick Robinson and Ty Simpkins) coming to visit Jurassic World at the same time that the ginormous hybrid breaks free and, you know, starts killing people and other dinosaurs.

The idea to create this highly intelligent, extremely dangerous animal dubbed the Indominus rex for the purposes of marketing a new attraction is criticized by the park’s buff raptor wrangler Owen Grady (Chris Pratt), who leaves all his lovable Chris Pratt-isms (see Parks and Recreation, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY) behind to play a generic bad ass hero character complete with lame wise-cracks.

Meanwhile, the villain this time is the head of the park’s private security force portrayed by Vincent D’Onofrio, who wants to use the dinosaurs for military purposes. The moment he starts spouting out his evil disrespectful to nature rhetoric, we know we’re gonna see him getting eaten later.

There’s also the useless mystery of what dinosaurs the Indominus rex is a hybrid of. We are told that its base is a T-rex, but the rest is classified, so throughout the movie Pratt is trying to put together that puzzle.

But, of course, nobody cares about that flimsy connective tissue. What people are coming for is the mayhem with dinosaurs attacking tourists, kids narrowly escaping grisly deaths, and lots of CGI-ed spectacle, and it’s all here in set piece after set piece.

There are lots of call backs to the Steven Spielberg-directed original too, including an appearance by the old, crumbling Jurassic Park’s visitor’s center (complete with the same old jeep), holograms of the most memorable creatures such as the Dilophosaurus in the new fanged visitor’s center, and B.D. Wong, the only returning cast member from the first film, as Dr. Henry Wu, the chief geneticist, who could be seen as the film’s other villain.

There is some comic relief in the control room via Jake Johnson (New Girl) and Lauren Lapkus (Orange is the New Black) as frightened engineers, but very little of the film’s humor really takes hold.

JURASSIC WORLD is a fast paced ride, which will surely please hardcore fans of the franchise, and folks looking for a few hours of air-conditioning, but it’s just another pile of dinosaur shit, one that, at times, doesn’t look that different from last year’s GODZILLA reboot.

The monster mash-up that is the Indominus rex is just a much bigger T-rex, Pratt’s and Howard’s characters could have been played by anybody, and D’Onofrio's by-the-numbers bad guy is a crude bore (he's a much better villain on Netflix's Daredevil series).

And as much as composer Michael Giacchino cribs from John Williams’ original score to accompany sweeping shots of the island and theme park, that old Spielbergian sense of wonder just can’t quite be summoned.

I will say that the film does serve up a crowd pleasing climax, one that really roused the audience at the screening I attended, but that alone doesn’t elevate this tired material much.

That it took four screenwriters - Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Derek Connolly, and director Trevorrow - to come up with this supersized retread may the only genuinely shocking and hair-raising thing about it.

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New Releases On Blu Ray & DVD: 4/23/13

The biggest new release on Blu ray and DVD this week is Ruben Fleischer's GANGSTER SQUAD, which was released earlier this year to bad reviews and poor box office. Still, with a cast that includes Ryan Gosling, Josh Brolin, Nick Nolte, Emma Stone, Sean Penn, Michael Peña, and Giovanni Ribisi, it's one to rent at least. If you purchase it you get these Special Features: commentary with director Fleischer, deleted scenes, and several featurettes.

Next up, Sergio G. Sánchez's THE IMPOSSIBLE, which depicts Ewan McGregor and an Oscar nominated Naomi Watts caught with their family in the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, also hits Blu ray and DVD today. Special Features: Audio Commentary with Director J.A. Bayona, writer Sergio G. Sanchez, producer Belén Atienza and Maria Belón, trailer, deleted scenes, and a few featurettes.

Steven Spielberg's 1993 crowd pleaser JURASSIC PARK was recently re-released in 3D theatrically, so now there's a 3D Blu ray release for those who don't want to leave their home (and their new 3D TVs). The 3D Blu-ray + Blu-ray + DVD + Digital Copy + UltraViolet package also features a smattering of bonus material like storyboards, footage of pre-production meetings, Special Effects supervisor Phil Tippett's animatics, trailers for all 3 JURASSIC PARK movies and the obligatory "making of" featurette.

A movie I didn't care for (and didn't even review), Gus Van Sant's PROMISED LAND (aka that movie about fracking) written by and starring Matt Damon and The Office's John Krasinski, also drops on the market today in a 2 disc Blu ray edition and a single disc DVD. Special features are one "making of" featurette and one extended scene. Hmm, sounds as slight as the film itself.

Also out today: Michael Tiddes' Marlon Wayans headed horror comedy A HAUNTED HOUSE, Ken Burns' 2012 documentary THE CENTRAL PARK FIVE, and the Blu ray release of Jack Clayton's 1974 version of F. Scott Fitzgerald's THE GREAT GATSBY, starring Robert Redford and Mia Farrow, just in time for the new Baz Luhrmann 3D adaptation starring Leonardo DiCaprio which opens on May 10th.

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JURASSIC PARK 3D Doesn't Quite Pop

Opening today at a multiplex near you:

JURASSIC PARK 3D

(Dir. Steven Spielberg, 1993)

To celebrate its 20th anniversary, and to create franchise awareness for the big ass IMAX 3D event spectacular JURASSIC PARK IV set for Summer 2014, Steven Spielberg’s action adventure epic has now been outfitted in 3D for a theatrical re-release opening today.

That’s all well and good, but at the advance screening I attended, the image looked faded. The colors were much more vibrant in a revival screening I saw the same week of THE MUPPET MOVIE (part of the Cool Classics series at the Colony Theater in Raleigh), and that was an original 35 mm print 15 years older than JURASSIC PARK! 

I know, I know, it's digital and I can only speak for how it looked at the one screening I saw, so I’ll be curious to know if any other movie-goers experienced such a dim image. When I see TV spots for the film, the color looks over-saturated, as if to make up for the faded picture. But anyway, on to the actual movie.

I could tell from the feel of the packed auditorium (and overhearing some random chatting) that many there had not seen the original JURASSIC PARK before. It has been a long time since I’ve seen it in full, but it has been on television so often that I’m very familiar with large chunks of it.

The Spielberg sense of otherworldly awe, that shined blindingly in such classics as CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND , RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, and E.T., takes its last glorious gasp here.

The scene where Richard Attenborough introduces Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and the less famous kids (Ariana Richards and Joseph Mazzello) to the wide landscape of cloned dinosaurs still has jaw-dropping impact, but the 3D-ness present this time is only intermittently effective throughout the film (the shot with the T-rex roaring into the jeep mirror with the disclaimer “Objects may seem closer than they appear” is one effective in-your-face instance). But most of the time, I didn’t even notice it.

The storyline (based on the 1990 novel by Michael Cricton, who co-wrote the screenplay with Spielberg cronie David Koepp) hasn’t really aged well - i.e. billionaire Attenborough brings a team of paleontologists and scientists (Neill, Dern, Goldblum), and a blood-sucking lawyer (Martin Ferrero) to inspect his new cloned dinosaur island theme park, but things go wrong (thanks to the conniving ways of Newman from Seinfeld) and they spend the rest of the movie being chased by CGI dinosaurs - but does it matter with so many genuine thrills on display? No it doesn’t.

It also has a number of entertaining elements such as a pre-PULP FICTION Samuel L. Jackson (“hold on to your butts!”) as the park’s chief engineer, the before mentioned Newman (actually Wayne Knight) providing snotty comic relief (Goldblum provides the more egg-headed kind), and a great suspenseful sequence with the kids trying to escape from a few raptors in the lavish kitchen in the visitor’s center, so the film still largely holds up.

It’s not even that dated - I only noticed Knight drinking a Jolt Cola, and Richards identifying herself as a “hacker” reminded me how new a term that was 20 years ago.

However, over and over I could tell that in this new 3D presentation, the things that got rises from the audience (many of whom were kids) came from Spielberg’s film making drive being in fifth gear, not the 3D enhancement, which, as I said before, didn’t look very good.

If your kids haven’t seen it, or only seen it on TV, a matinee may be in order of Spielberg’s crowd-pleaser, but contrary to Attenborough’s repeated boasts throughout the film, it looks to me like they did spare some expense with this re-tinkering, so brace yourself for a picture that doesn’t quite pop.

Sigh. If only a 2D 20th anniversary re-release was an option at the multiplexes.

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New Releases On Blu Ray & DVD: 3/26/13

To barely anybody’s surprise, Daniel Day Lewis won his third Oscar for his powerful portrayal of the 16th President in LINCOLN (my review here), out today in a lavish package on Blu ray and DVD. 

Film buffs have their choice of a 2 disc or a deluxe 4-Disc Blu-ray Combo Pack Super Set (Blu-ray + Bonus Blu-ray + DVD + Digital Copy). Bonus material includes the featurettes “The Journey to LINCOLN,” “A Historic Tapestry: Richmond, Virginia,” “Crafting the Past,” “In The Company Of Character" and “In Lincoln’s Footsteps.” As usual there’s no director’s commentary (Spielberg hasn’t recorded a commentary for any of his movies), but there’s plenty of Spielberg yakking about making his historical epic here so fans should be happy with this release. 

The first season of HBO’s Veep, you know the show with Julia Louis-Dreyfus as the Vice President, comes out today on Blu ray and DVD, and it’s a nice 2 disc Blu ray with DVD and digital copy set, with a neat art design that makes it resemble The West Wing’s DVD packaging of their seasons. 

I wasn’t much of a fan of the show when it first aired last year, but watching it now I am more appreciating Armando Iannucci’s (IN THE LOOP) shaky cam rhythms capturing the silly politics stressing out all his self centered characters, played by a fine ensemble cast including Anna Chlumsky, Tony Hale, and Matt Walsh, in a world in which the President is never named, political affiliation is never identified, and dignity is never present.

Louis-Dreyfus, who will always be Seinfeld's Elaine Benes to me, won an Emmy for her performance as the vain Veep, Selina Meyer, in the 8 episodes of season one here which are joined by such Bonus Features as “The Making of Veep,” “Misspoke” (a direct to the camera Louis-Dreyfus retracting remarks about Governor Chung), another outtake about Chung (which I don’t get at all), an Anti-Obesity PSA (also has a useless unfunny outtake), and 12 commentaries with cast and crew (I’ve listened to a few of them and they’re pretty entertaining). Annoyingly these extras are listed on the menu on disc one, but when you click on several of them it says “Please Insert Disc 2.”

Last December, I skipped a press screening of Andy Fickman’s PARENTAL GUIDANCE, starring Billy Crystal and Bette Midler as wacky grandparents, so I doubt I’ll put it in my Netflix queue, but for folks who are interested, it’s out now on Blu ray and DVD with several Special Features: commentary (with Crystal and Fickman), gag reel, deleted scenes (also with commentary), and a featurette entitled “FXM Productions Presents: In Character with Billy Crystal, Bette Midler, Marisa Tomei.” Hmm, I didn’t know Marisa Tomei was in it! Still doesn’t make me want to see it though.

A few other films I missed in their theatrical run, but actually might check out, are also out today on Blu ray and DVD: A ROYAL AFFAIR, EASY MONEY (aka SNABBA CASH), and the documentary STEP UP TO THE PLATE (French title: ENTRE LES BRAS), about French chef Michel Bras.

Also in that category is Rick Alverson’s THE COMEDY, which is also available on Netflix Instant. Tim Heidecker of Tim & Eric fame, stars as a guy who I hear is a bit of a dick who harasses people while he’s waiting for his Dad to die. I guess that’s what it’s about. Despite that I hated TIM & ERIC’S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE, I am very curious about this film. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Andrew Dominik’s KILLING THEM SOFTLY, which featured Brad Pitt doing just that, is out today in both one disc Blu ray and DVD editions. I sort of semi-liked what Dominik was going for in the film, I likened it to a mash-up of GOODFELLAS and MARGIN CALL in my review last November, so I’m curious about what the Special Features are. Well, looks like only some deleted scenes, and a short “making of” featurette (6 minutes). That’s too bad, this is a film that could really use a commentary. 

Older films out today on Blu ray and DVD: THE SANDLOT: 20th Anniversary Edition, JURASSIC PARK (also a 20th anniversary re-issue just in time for the new 3D version of the film), Elia Kazan’s PANIC IN THE STREETS (1950), and Criterion Collection editions of Charlie Chaplin’s excellent MONSIEUR VERDOUX (1947) and and Robert Bresson’s A MAN ESCAPED (1956).

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