Monday, April 01, 2013

Quentin Tarantino To Direct And Star In CITIZEN KANE Remake

Even in a world with so many remakes, reboots, and re-imaginings, Orson Welles’s 1941 classic CITIZEN KANE seemed to be safe as a sacred cow that nobody would even think of touching…until now.

Wunderkind writer, director, and sometime actor Quentin Tarantino has just announced that his next project will be a remake of Welles’ masterpiece, considered by many to be one of the greatest motion pictures ever, and that it will be his final film.

“I want to make one last epic statement as a film maker and then retire, and what better way to go out with a bang than to prove that I can make a better movie out of what people think is the best movie ever?” Tarantino told Empire magazine. “My version will blow Welles’ out of the water, and it’ll be in IMAX 3D. Imagine the shards of the snow globe coming right at you! It’ll be awesome.”

The casting of himself in the iconic Charles Foster Kane part will surely be controversial, but his selection of Christoph Waltz to play Jedediah Leland, a role previously inhabited by Joseph Cotton, means that the Academy should just go ahead and engrave his name on another Oscar.

Further shocking film fans, Tarantino claims, in an interview with Entertainment Weekly, that he’s never seen the original film in full. “I’ve seen parts of it on the monitor at Video Archives, the video store I used to work at before hitting the big-time, but I always had to go help customers and missed parts of it.”

Tarantino says he will view the movie once, but then never refer to it again. “I want my own vision to take over; I don’t want to make a shot-by-shot remake like Gus Van Zant did with PSYCHO. Man, that really sucked!”

So crazy that it just might work, Tarantino’s CITIZEN KANE is slated for a Christmas 2014 release.

More later...


Neil Morris said...

Nice one - April Fools

louis bouchelle said...

why does he sound like a moron when he speaks. He seems like someone how really wouldn't even understand the film he's trying to reboot. He's incapable of delivering any real social commentary. Just mindless slightly artistic, I'm trying to be "oh so cool and hip 'attempts at not being a poser.

louis bouchelle said...

Quentin can not be for real. Doesn't he seem a little vain when he speaks. I get this vibe from him that he wishes he could just be cool, but always comes across as a poser. Nevertheless, Django was pretty good, pulp was fun, but really.. Citizen Kane? LEAVE IT ALONE DUDE and keep making movies. Maybe you will make something good one more time. maybe.

Anonymous said...

You forgot to check the date of this article before you made your dumb, hateful comments. Who's trying to look "oh so cool and hip" now, eh?

Anonymous said...

What a maroon! Didn't you even consider that on April Fool's Day this story might be nonsense?