MIRROR MIRROR: Painful Pap Through And Through

MIRROR MIRROR (Dir. Tarsem Singh, 2012)

After a gorgeous animated opening, this new fangled take on Snow White goes downhill faster than a wheelbarrow full of bricks.

I was won over by director Singh’s 2006 fantasy film THE FALL, but he lost me with the grueling action epic IMMORTALS (2011). Now Singh takes aim at the fairy tale rom com genre, and misfires miserably.

The first and biggest mistake was the huge commercial concession of casting Julia Roberts in the role of the evil Queen. Roberts is unbearably smug and she never truly embodies the part; she never even comes close to nibbling on the scenery.

Mellissa Wallack and Jason Keller’s sitcom-ish screenplay doesn’t help Roberts out either. Every one of her one-liners falls flat – take for instance her lame wise-crack that Snow White’s parents named her that “probably because that was the most pretentious name they could think of.” And that’s one of the better lines.

The twist on the premise is that the classic story is told from the Queen’s point of view, but they really don’t follow through with that as much of the movie concentrates on Snow White (Lily Collins) befriending 7 dwarves (lots of little people humor here, none of which will make anyone forget “Time Bandits”), and falling in love with a visiting Prince (Arnie Hammer)

There’s still a fair amount of Singh’s visual mastery, including swooping shots of the cliff-side castle and the striking landscape surrounding it, but the screen is mostly filled with synthetic looking sets as background to the hammy cringe-inducing acting of the cast.

Nathan Lane and Michael Lerner play the Queen’s sniveling stooges and, yep, they’re just as clunky as everything else here - though Lane has a few moments that almost amuse.

The first of 2 Snow White movies coming out this year (the darker SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN comes out in June), the slick unfunny MIRROR MIRROR is a painful pap through and through. A scene involving Roberts’ beauty regimen that involves bird feces being applied to her face is probably the most painful part, but a scenario in which a spell is put on Hammer which makes him act like a dog is up there.

I was so happy when it was over, especially as the end credits contains a tacky dance number set to a re-working of a Nina Hart song (“Love”) featuring a vocoded vocal by Snow White star Lily Collins (she’s Phil Collins daughter, you see).

At least the movie was consistent in one respect - it kept me cringing right up until the very end.

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Film Babble Blog Falls For THE FALL

Roy (Lee Pace): “He does tricks for pictures, flickers...moving pictures.”

Alexandria (Catinca Untara): “I’ve never seen one!”

Roy: “You’re not missing much.”

THE FALL (Dir. Tarsem, 2006 *) 

I only recently saw Tarsem’s THE CELL which looked great but was pretty stupid exactly as a friend (and many critics) warned me. Like Michel Gondry and Spike Jonze, Tarsem came to the movies from the world of music video production (he directed R.E.M.’s famous “Losing My Religion” video) so his visual mastery is his calling card. 

Still though I was unprepared for the absorbing and splendiferous experience that is THE FALL. With a much improved less slickly formulaic premise and screenplay (not to mention no stars in the cast) than his previous film every shot has a purpose and power that is joyous to view.

Set at a hospital at an unspecified era, most likely Los Angeles in the 20’s, the story concerns a young girl with a broken arm (Catinca Untara) who befriends a bedridden man (Lee Pace) while strolling through the wards. 

Pace was injured doing a stunt for a movie that involved jumping off a train bridge onto a horse. He charms her with a mythic tale about 5 bandits (he at first calls them pirates but Untara doesn’t like that) who vow revenge on an evil General who banished them to a desert isle. 

Pace posits himself as the masked Black Bandit and his partners are an escaped African slave (Marcus Wesley), an Italian explosives expert (Robin Smith), a soul shattered Indian mystic (Jeetu Verma), and Charles Darwin (Leo Bill) who is obviously the brain of their operation as they escape confinement and journey towards salvation or death. 

The grand tale overlaps with real life as it is peopled with folks from the hospital and Untara’s family WIZARD OF OZ-style.

* Though this film was originally premiered in 2006, it is only now that it is in wide theatrical release as presented by David Fincher and Spike Jonez.

It’s a film filled with incredible shots with plenty of action as well as personal drama that fill the frame too. Pace has had his heart broken along with his bones so he casts his ex-girlfriend (Justine Waddell) as the fabled Sister Evelyn in his impassioned bedtime story. 

There is a nice chemistry between Pace and Untara and a charm to this whole pretty package even when he uses the story as a bargaining tool to get her to break in to the hospital’s sanctuary to steal morphine for him. Yes, all this luscious euphoric beauty comes for a dark price but not one that would be too intense for most intelligent kids. 

That’s right, at heart this is a kids movie but an incredibly stylish and inventive kids movie. I was expecting something along the lines of the gothic tension and creepiness of PAN’S LABYRINTH but THE FALL is more colorful, infinitely more clever, and frankly a lot more fun. 

Reviews have been very mixed (except for Roger Ebert who gave it 4 stars and wrote that the film will most likely make his top ten of the year list) but I implore those to look for it if it comes to your area. 

The beautiful photography and fantastic CGI-free imagery deserves to be seen on the big screen - it would truly make a fantastic IMAX movie. A wonderful ride stocked with eye candy as well as a tribute to the power of storytelling, you will really be missing much if you miss THE FALL.

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