Friday Fun With Franchises: The BILL & TED Saga (1989-2020)

Last summer, the long-awaited third episode of the BILL & TED series, BILL & TED FACE THE MUSIC was released at select movie theaters and on Premium Video on Demand because of the COVID-19 pandemic. At the time, I bitched about how pricey a streaming rental was on this blog, especially as many were jobless at the time, and decided to wait until the cost went down. It recently dropped (it’s at $5.99 on Amazon Prime), but before I watched it, I went back and re-visited the previous two entries, which I felt was needed as I hadn’t seen them in decades. 

As a teenager in the ‘80s, I was the perfect age to appreciate the inaugural effort, Stephen Herek’s BILL & TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE (1989), and I indeed loved it when I caught it on video (I haven’t seen any of the BILL & TED movies on the big screen). As folks who’d be reading a film blog like this would most likely know, Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves portray Bill S. Preston Esquire, and Ted “Theodore” Logan, a dumb slacker duo in San Dimas, California, who travel through time in a telephone booth to gather historical figures in order to pass their History report. 

This adventure is given to them by iconic comedian George Carlin as Rufus, who comes from the future – 2688 to be exact – where the fate of civilization hinges on whether Bill & Ted can pass their class and are able to keep their band, Wyld Stallyns, together. Yes, this is stupid, cartoonish stuff but despite some clunky moments the film’s good natured spirit, and the wide-eyed performances of Reeves and Winter really pull it off. 

The basic joke of these characters is while they’re both blissfully stupid, Winter’s Bill is the smart one who gets things quicker than Reeves’ Ted, with Bill often having to help Ted get up to speed. When he gets it, they perform an air guitar salute to each other accompanied by a brief guitar shredding sound effect. 

Loads of funny, quotable lines are littered throughout (“Strange things are afoot at the Circle K”) this loony lark, but the most memorable dialogue is such oft repeated phrases as “excellent,” “bogus,” “party on,” and “yes, way.” All of these were also heavily used by Wayne (Mike Myers), and Garth (Dana Carvey) in the WAYNE’S WORLD movies and SNL sketches (Carvey even said “I remember I always thought ‘Aren’t we just doing Bill and Ted?’”).

EXCELLENT ADVENTURE had decent box office, but it largely gained a cult via cable showings and video rentals. This led to the 1991 sequel, Peter Hewitt’s BILL & TED’S BOGUS JOURNEY, which I considered a letdown almost three decades ago. However, over the years I’ve encountered more than a few folks that preferred it to the original (one who even said it was their favorite film ever). This made me want to re-evaluate the movie, and see if I’ll still consider it a fairly forgotten follow-up. 

BOGUS JOURNEY is definitely better than I recalled, but still nowhere as fun or funny as the first time around. This time, the utopian world of the future is threatened by a terrorist (Joss Ackland) who sends evil robot versions of Bill & Ted to go back to the past in order to stop the real Bill & Ted from winning the San Dimas Battle of the Bands. The evil robots kill Bill & Ted by hurtling them off of Vasquez Rocks, a formation featured in many movies and TV shows (the film even excerpts the Star Trek episode that uses the location at one point). 

William Sadler as The grim reaper, or simply “Death,” appears and tells Bill & Ted that if they challenge him to a contest and win, they can return to their lives; if they lose they have to stay in the afterlife. The joke here is that Death didn’t expect them to chose games like Clue, Battleship, and Twister, but it works and makes for one of the film’s funniest scenes. 

So instead of bouncing around through history, they run around mostly in Hell, which doesn’t look like they thought it would (“We got totally lied to by our album covers!”), where they face their childhood fears, and encounter Satan himself. The last third involves Bill & Ted’s showdown at the Battle of the Bands showdown with their robot counterparts, who have kidnapped our heroes’ girlfriends. 

I didn’t care for the evil robot Bill & Ted plotline. The material concerning them seemed lazy, and crude like in a bit where their heads are removed while clowning around. The Sadler’s Grim Reaper fares a lot better -the longer the Igmar Bergman’s inspired character is on screen, the more likably wacky he gets - but a couple of Muppet-like alien geniuses called The Station seem really out of place here. Still, I’m glad I rewatched it because it’s a better sequel than I remembered, and it got me in the mood to catch up with the third chapter in the two dudes’ saga. 

$24.95 To Stream The New BILL & TED Sequel? That’s Bogus!

This Friday, the long awaited third entry in the BILL & TED series will be released on premium video on demand and select movie theaters. Thing is, the movie which reunites Alex Winter as Bill S. Preston, and Keanu Reeves as Ted Logan as older versions of the time-travelling teens that won over comedy lovers decades ago, is available on many streaming services for the unappealing price of $24.95. 

What, do you think we’re made of money, dude?

Now, this isn’t anything new. The last film I saw in theaters before the Pandemic lockdown was THE INVISIBLE MAN, starring Elizabeth Moss. I enjoyed the thriller and recommended it to my parents, but was not aware that its price on video on demand was $19.99. I thought it would be $10 at the most – like the price of a movie ticket at the theater (yes, I know tickets in NYC are close to $15). Since then, I’ve seen that many new films were priced in that range since all the theaters had closed down.

In this age where many people are unemployed, and struggling, it seems like more affordable rates – like $9.95-$14.95 - for films like BILL & TED FACE THE MUSIC would not only be a nice gesture, it would mean bigger profits as more people would be likely to order them up. 

In early June, a comedy entitled THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND, starring SNL’s Pete Davidson, was released via video on demand for $19.99. I find Davidson funny, and wanted to see the picture, but not for that price. I doubt there were many others that shelled out for it either. It’s now available for around $5.99, so I bet that fans of BILL & TED will just wait a bit for a likewise more reasonable rental price.

This bugs me as I think the folks in charge of what rents for what price are missing an opportunity to build an audience for new VOD titles with less pricey programming. Are there really enough folks, even hardcore fans, willing to pay $24.95 for the third go-around of BILL & TED to make it a big hit? I doubt it, but I could be way wrong. I just know that I’ll probably wait, and may rewatch the originals in the meantime since it’s been decades since I’ve seen them.

I just can’t bring myself to spend that much money for a rental, even if it’s a movie I’m highly interested in. Can you?

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February Film Babble: JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2 & FIST FIGHT

And now, a few new movies that I saw a bit back but am only getting around to babbling about now:

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2

(Dir. Chad Stahelski, 2017)

I was among those who were surprised at how much they liked the first JOHN WICK. I didn’t have any expectations going in, but found it to be thrilling, funny piece of high octane action cinema. Now Keanu Reeves, and stuntman turned director Chad Stahelski, are back for a second round of frenetically edited sequences crammed with gunshots to the heads of countless attackers.

As it begins right after the previous entry ended, with Reeves’ Wick tracking down his ‘69 Mustang coupe at a chop shop owned by Peter Stormare as the brother of the mob boss villain from the first one, it feels as much like an extention as it is a sequel. That’s fine by me as Stahelski, working with returning screenwriter Derek Kolstad, keep the original’s dark humor and ultra violent vibe going smashingly.

Sure, the plot is contrived – Wick retires from the assassin’s life for a second time, even reburying his weapons, but when he refuses a new job from a dapper Italian gangster (Riccardo Scamarcio) his house gets blown up (luckily his new dog, the pittbull he got in his first film, doesn’t get killed) and he’s pulled back into the criminal underworld game – but I was highly entertained throughout by how far the filmmakers stretched the limits of their stylized stunt choreography scene after scene.

And, sure, it doesn’t have the freshness of the first, but in Common as the bodyguard of Wick’s mark (Claudia Gerini), it has a worthy foe for our hero to fight, which a killer set-piece at the Rome Continental proves punch after powerful punch. It’s also a bit of a kick to have Reeves re-united with his MATRIX co-star Laurence Fishburne, as a brutal crime lord named The Bowery King, who comes to Wick’s aid.

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2 is a solid follow-up that, for the most part, soaringly transcends its status as being a retread. It’s also a much better example of the form than how the Tom Cruise/JACK REACHER franchise is unfolding. Now there’s crossover mash-up I’d like to see: Wick vs. Reacher. But, of course, only if Wick wins, which, for sure, would be the only way it could really go down.

FIST FIGHT (Dir. Richie Keen, 2017)

Walking out of the screening for this film, I heard somebody say “I’m surprised this isn’t a summer release!” I chuckled to myself because I found the slapdash comedy, FIST FIGHT, to be a perfect release for the dumping ground season of February.

It’s got a slight premise –Ice Cube as an angry history teacher challenges Charlie Day as a meek English teacher to a fight on the last day of school – a B-list cast (no offense to Tracy Morgan, Dean Norris, Christina Hendricks, and Jillian Bell, but c’mon, who we kidding?), and a sloppy screenplay by first timers Van Robichaux and Evan Susser, so its slotting this season is dead on.

That said, I laughed more than I thought I would. Much like last December’s OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY, there are too many funny people on screen for there not to be a least some hilarious hi-jinks.

The use of over dramatic music to enforce the severity of Ice Cube’s threat to Day is a great gag at first, but like every other running joke – the drawing dicks on everything shenanigans of “Prank Day,” Day’s constant attempts to weasel out of the showdown (hard to root for him when he plants drugs on Ice Cube to frame him), and the creepiness of Bell’s character wanting to sleep with her students – it wears thin really fast.

FIST FIGHT is something that I’ve deemed many a movie that’s dropping during these off seasons – a throwaway matinee at best. With this one though, only check it out if you’ve seen absolutely everything else at the multiplex. Otherwise, stay home and watch some random episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadephia, that’s where Day and director Keen have put in much, much funnier work together.

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A Bunch Of Blu Ray Blurbs For February

It’s time once again to tackle the growing stack of new release Blu rays that are cluttering up my desk. With a few exceptions, these are mostly titles that had a limited theatrical release accompanying their availability on VOD. These are films that slipped through the cracks of 2015, and mostly for good reason, but I enjoyed a few of them. One of them I liked quite a bit. Read on to find out which.

First up, I saw Peter Sollett’s sincere piece of Oscar bait, FREEHELD, when it played briefly at the Rialto in Raleigh last fall. It didn’t make much of an impact on me or audiences apparently so it came and went pretty quickly. Maybe it was too soon after seeing Julianne Moore deteriorate from Alzheimers in STILL ALICE, which she deservedly won an Oscar for, to see her grapple with another disease – this time cancer.

Anyway, in this well meaning drama based on real events, Moore plays Laurel Hester, a New Jersey cop who fights the Ocean County Board of Freeholders to have her partner of five years, Stacie Andree (Ellen Page), inherit her pension after she dies. A no nonsense Michael Shannon plays Moore’s supportive longtime police-force partner, a flamboyant Steve Carrell joins in as a gay rights sctivist, and Josh Charles rounds out the cast as one of the conflicted board members.

FREEHELD isn’t a terrible movie, it’s just like a Lifetime TV movie but with big names. The cast is good (Shannon stands out but then he always does) and it’s certainly a noble effort, but it’s a bit bland and forgettable. However, what is notable is that Cynthia Wade’s 2007 Oscar-winning documentary short (also with the same name) that it was based on is included on the Blu ray/DVD edition of the film. In 38 minutes, the doc sums up everything much better than the full length feature and serves as a better tribute to Hester, who died in 2006.

Next up, horror meister Eli Roth brings us KNOCK KNOCK, which has been billed as a “erotic thriller,” concerning Keanu Reeves as a nice guy family man architect who makes a sexy mistake. That is, he is seduced then terrorized by a couple of young girls (Lorenza Izzo and Ana de Armas) who show up out of the blue when his wife and kids are out of town for the weekend. The film is a remake of a schlocky ‘70s exploitation flick called DEATH GAME, which had Seymour Cassell getting seduced then terrorized by Sandra Locke and Colleen Camp (Camp is one of the remake’s producers and puts in a cameo).

Roth’s take on the material is initially intriguing but becomes tiresome and as tortuous as the situation Reeves is enduring. Izzo and De Armas are more annoying than scary or sexy for that matter, and their moralizing motives for ruining Reeves’ life, and destroying his posh Hollywood house, are hardly convincing, particularly their taunts that he’s a one-percenter that needs to be taken down. I simply could not see the point of any of this ordeal. Also the movie gets major marks off for using the Pixies’ “Where is My Mind” for the climax. It’s such a lame steal as the song was so definitively used as the ending of FIGHT CLUB that when it started up in this I was expecting to see buildings fall down. Maybe this is the film that confirms what I’ve suspected before – Eli Roth’s films just aren’t for me.

Funnily enough, “Where is My Mind” is also used in the next film I’ll be babbling about, Ben Palmer’s MAN UP, but it’s a distinctly different version – a piano instrumental – so doesn’t take you out of the movie as much. MAN UP is an affable British rom com that pairs Lake Bell, doing a fairly decent English accent, up with Simon Pegg, for a blind date. The thing is, the date was supposed to be Pegg being set up by his friends with another woman (Ophelia Lovibond), but Bell, happening upon their meeting place at Waterloo Station, is mistaken by Pegg for Lovibond, and Bell decides in the moment to go along with it. The couple hit it off over beers and bowling, but a run in with one of Bell’s old schoolmates (Rory Kinnear) threatens to blow her cover. Bell agrees to kiss Kinnear so that he won’t tell her stolen date, but when Pegg catches them (in the ladie’s room no less), the gig is up and Bell comes clean.

That’s not as much of a spoiler as you would think because it comes shortly after the half hour mark. So whereas usually the leads in these type movies start out hating each other and then gradually fall in love, this has them bickering and getting all competitive after the setup of them actually liking one another. Bell and Pegg have ample chemistry and although you know after some wacky mishaps they are going to finally come together at Bell’s parents’ (Ken Stott and Harriet Walter) 40th anniversary party that the film has been not too slyly building towards, it doesn’t take anything away from the movie’s abundance of charm. Kinnear’s hammy shenanigans did grate on me a little, but overall this is the rare rom com keeper.

At my first glance at the Blu ray box, I was like, didn’t Robert De Niro already make a movie called HEIST? Turns out, I was thinking about THE SCORE, a heist movie that De Niro made back in 2001, the same year that Gene Hackman starred in a similar film that was also named HEIST that I would mix up back then. As I see on IMDb, there have been a lot of movies called HEIST or THE HEIST throughout the years and I guess it’s fitting that this one uses the title because it’s such a generic by-the-numbers exercise that it really doesn’t deserve anything more original.

Despite that De Niro is prominently featured on the front and the spine of the Blu ray cover, the real star of Scott Mann’s HEIST is Jeffrey Dean Morgan who plays a casino card dealer who takes part in the robbery of a riverboat casino run by De Niro as a tough mob boss. Morgan reluctantly joins in the heist with his co-worker partners, headed by Dave Bautista, because his daughter is sick and needs expensive surgery. The plan doesn’t go off very smoothly and the crew are forced to hijack a city bus and take the passengers hostage. It’s pretty routine formulaic stuff, but it’s watchable enough I suppose for a C grade thriller.

Fairing much better is the horror comedy COOTIES, the directorial debut of Cary Murnion and Jonathan Milott, mainly because of its extremely capable comic cast. Elijah Wood heads the ensemble as a substitute teacher who on first day on the job at his hometown elementary school finds that the students are turning into zombies because of tainted cafeteria chicken nuggets. Wood took the position to get close to his old high school crush (Alison Pill), but she’s dating Rainn Wilson as the creepy PE teacher. 

The teachers, including Jack McBrayer, Nasim Pedrad, and Leigh Whannell (SAW co-creator who co-wrote this movie with Glee co-creator Ian Brennan, who also appears as the Vice Principal) are stranded inside the school and have to band together to fight the infected children. It’s a often violent and gory experience but it’s delivered with a goofball charm that’s pretty infectious (sorry). If you like the cast and have a thing for zombies, it’s a good bet. 

Elijah Wood also appears in Breck Eisner’s THE LAST WITCH HUNTER, a Vin Diesel vehicle that really bored me silly. Diesel potrays the immortal protagonist, who carries on his centuries old legacy of killing witches in modern day New York City, with the aid of Wood as the newest in a long line of Dolans (helper priests). Wood is replacing the retiring Dolan (Michael Caine, a welcome sight since I was unaware he was in the movie), but after Caine is mysteriously murdered the same day, Diesel and Wood, along with a friendly witch (Rosa Leslie) begin to unravel a plot by a squadron of supernatural witches to resurrect the Witch Queen or some such (my mind wandered). 

It’s a slickly made piece of horribly paced dreck, with no discernible spark to speak of. It also appears to take itself entirely too seriously in its misguided effort to form a franchise worthy mythology. Admittedly, Diesel isn’t my cup of tea (see my review of RIDDICK), but I’ll take another FAST AND FURIOUS sequel over this any day.

Finally, Jessie Nelson’s LOVE THE COOPERS, a Christmas ensemble comedy that made me cringe instead of crack up. It’s one of those all star dysfunctional family films, like the previous year’s THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU, that failed to make much of a splash in its theatrical release last November, and it’s not very far into it that you can see why. John Goodman and Diane Keaton play the parents whose Pittsburgh house the family, including Ed Helms, Olivia Wilde, June Squibb, Alan Arkin, and Marissa Tomei, gathers at on Christmas eve, but this year everybody has their own kooky issues that get in the way of the holiday cheer. 

It’s narrated by Steve Martin, in a sincere effort to add some zing but that sadly doesn’t help generate any laughs. Neither does any of the other dialogue which feels strained or cutesy (or both) throughout. So, yeah, I really didn’t LOVE THE COOPERS. It’s a mishmash of overly sentimental and tired rom com tropes, but since it was scripted by Steve Rogers responsible for such mush as HOPE FLOATS, KATE & LEOPOLD, and P.S. I LOVE YOU, that’s hardly a surprise.

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Keanu Reeves Racks Up Tons Of Deaths And Surprisingly Laughs As JOHN WICK

Now playing at a multiplex near you...

JOHN WICK

(Dirs. David Leitch & Chad Stahelski, 2014)

About a third of the way into this film, there’s a phone conversation between John Leguizamo as a chop shop operator and Michael Nyqvist as a big-time Russian crime boss. Nyqvist sternly asks Lequizamo, “Why did you strike my son?” and he answers: “Because he stole John Wick’s car and killed his dog.” After a very pregnant pause, Nyqvist responds “Oh.”

Up to that point, JOHN WICK had been a dark action thriller, but with the big laugh that bit received it became a dark action comedy, especially to a guy in the row behind me at the screening I attended, who loudly guffawed throughout. He wasn’t alone as the audience laughed lot during the movie, so much so that I wasn’t sure how much of what they found funny was intentional or not.

Basically, this is another in a line of indestructible badass movies, in which an established actor portrays a highly skilled, trained killer who can take down legions of attackers. It’s a formula that’s given Liam Neeson a lot of work lately, and gave Denzel Washington a recent hit in THE EQUALIZER, so now Keanu Reeves tries on the tropes of the genre.

The directorial debut of veteran stuntman David Leitch and Chad Stahelski (a former stunt double for Reeves), JOHN WICK doesn’t have much in the way of plot, but it’s a stylishly violent experience that contains a Hell of a lot of amusement.

When the film begins, Reeves, a retired hit-man for the mob, is mourning the death of his wife, who we see played by Bridget Moynahan in flashbacks. Her parting gift for her husband is a cute floppy eared beagle so that he can have something to love. So when a group of lowlife thugs led by a suitably skuzzy Alfie Allen, as the aforementioned crime boss’s son, breaks into Reeves’ house, kills his beloved pet, and steals his classic Mustang muscle car, obviously there’s going to be hell to pay.

With a sledgehammer Reeves digs up his buried arsenal of weapons, and ventures into New York City, to track down Allen and his entourage. Reeves checks into The Continental, something of a surreal specialty hotel for hitmen, where we get an inkling of his old life via past acquaintances like Adrianne Palicki as a hot hitwoman, The Wire’s Lance Riddick as the smirking hotel manager, and Ian McShane as the hotel’s smug owner.

Fearing his son’s life, Nyqvist takes out a contract on Reeves that’s accepted by Willem Dafoe, as another highly skilled and incredibly confident assassin, and the hunt is on.

Chasing Allen through an exotic bathhouse, a Neon-lit club, and a church that's a money-laundering front, Reeves racks up a high body count on his quest for revenge with many foes getting their brains blown out immediately, but every now and then there’s somebody who’s harder to take out so fierce fist fights to the death result. Of course, there’s tons of property damage too.

Some of the tussles get tiresome, but the pace keeps it moving along with vivid visual stamina, though I must note that Jonathan Sela’s grey-toned cinematography looked a bit dingy at times.

These days it seems you can’t be too old to be an action star, and since the 50-year old Reeves looks like a spring chicken compared to some of his action genre contemporaries he breathes some fresh air into the familiar framework. Sure, he’s not one of the all-time acting greats but he projects an iconic presence that helps make JOHN WICK one of the better, and funnier, indestructible badass films of recent vintage.

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