PIRATES 5: DEAD MEN TELL NO NEW TALES

Now playing at a multiplex near us all:

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES
(Dirs. Joachim Rønning & Espen Sandberg, 2017)

After a string of major misfires, including ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, THE LONE RANGER, MORTDECAI (forgot about that one!), TRANSCENDENCE, and DARK SHADOWS, Johnny Depp once again dusts off his Keith Richards impression, dons an X-marked pirate hat, do-rag, black eye makeup, earrings, and the rest of his familiar ratty attire (not dissimilar to what Depp wears in real life) to resurrect the character of Jack Sparrow for the fifth film of Disney’s highly lucrative PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN franchise.

As his last big hit was the last PIRATES movie, ON STRANGER TIDES, this makes financial sense for the actor, but for folks (like me) who are tired of the increasingly redundant series, it’s not a very appealing prospect.

But, hey, I try to give every movie the benefit of the doubt - even when it comes to the slew of seemingly unnecessary sequels that clog up the multiplexes every summer. So I’ll say this - DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES is better than the previous PIRATES entry, Rob Marshall’s ON STRANGER TIDES (2011), but, and I know you can see this coming, that’s really not saying much.

This time around, the premise concerns Brenton Thwaites as the son of Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly’s characters from the first several movies, who seeks out Depp’s Sparrow to help him find the film’s McGuffin - a magical compass thingie called the Trident of Poseidon - so that he can free his father from a curse keeping him forever undersea aboard his sunken ship.

Also wanting to find Sparrow and break their curse, is a group of undead sailors led by the sinister Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem, who's a little scary at first but that dies off rapidly), who were trapped in the Devil’s Triangle by Sparrow (in a flashback where we see a young Depp courtesy of digital trickery). Oh yeah, there’s also actually a female lead along for the ride played by Kaya Scodelario, whose character Carina Smyth is an astronomer, which makes people think she’s a witch.

Add Geoffrey Rush reprising his role as Captain Hector Barbossa for the fifth time to the mix, and we’re off into another amped up series of over-the-top sequences in which our heroes seamlessly dodge digital dangers in battles at sea and on land with all of them blending together into a tedious run through done-to-death plot mechanics.

Even bits that I enjoyed such as an action set piece involving a botched bank robbery in which the actual bank building is pulled around a village by a team of horses, felt like a variation on any number of comical chases in the previous entries, and Depp’s swishy Sparrow schtick, which was past its sell-by date a few films ago is just another predictable, uninspired element on display here.

On the plus side, the visual imagery, aided by tons of CGI, is stunning with oceans that glitter to the horizon dominated by intricately detailed battle ships and cool looking ghost sharks (that’s right). It proves that these days even mediocre movies can look immaculate.

Despite this appraisal, I wouldn’t recommend seeing it in IMAX 3D like I did - the effect wears off pretty quickly.

I predict that PIRATES fans will be pleased by this entry - I say that because my wife likes them and she liked this one - but while I thought there was a reasonable amount of fun onscreen for at least a matinee price, I grow tired at seeing this series endlessly repeat itself. 

This film seems to have two major purposes as a piece of pop culture - keep the franchise afloat for more follow-ups, and end Depp’s career slump. As its biggest competition this Memorial Day weekend is BAYWATCH, I’m betting it will have no trouble reaching those goals.

For those who are curious - yes, there is an after credits stinger to set up a yet another sequel. Like every single thing else here, that’s a given.

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SKYFALL: The Film Babble Blog Review

    

SKYFALL (Dir. Sam Mendes, 2012) 

Four years after the lackluster QUANTUM OF SOLACE, James Bond is back in this top notch movie that’s not just one of the best of the entire series, it’s one of the best full throttle straight-up action films in years. 

Definitely of this year, as it’s way more adventurous than THE AVENGERS, dangerously darker than THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, and completely out-Bournes THE BOURNE LEGACY. And that’s just in the first 10 minutes.

In a Turkey-set pre-credits sequence that encompasses a chaotic car chase, a motorcycle chase over rooftops (take that TAKEN 2!), a bulldozer demolishing a train carriage while in transit, and a hand to hand fight on top of that train going through a tunnel, Daniel Craig’s 007 has us in the sweaty palm of his bloody hand.

Bond’s superior, M (Judi Dench), has a larger role than usual as her job heading the MI6 is in jeopardy and she’s being targeted by Raoul Silva (Javier Bardem), a former agent turned cyberterrorist.

To help his boss, Bond travels to Shanghai (always gotta be globe-trotting) to recover the MacGuffin of this movie, a stolen hard drive that identifies many undercover NATO agents. This is where he meets the closest thing this film has to a Bond girl, Bérénice Lim Marlohe, who is under the rule of Bardem.

The spunky Naomie Harris, could be considered a Bond girl, but she’s more of his assistant, and there’s no romance going on there. Despite a quick shot of sex in the cold opening, Craig’s Bond seems less interested in bedding random babes than his predecessors, but that’s maybe just a sign of the times.

Bardem’s Silva is the best villain the series has had since…uh, I’ll say Christopher Walken in A VIEW TO A KILL. Like Walken, Bardem has dyed blonde hair and an unhinged presence. It’s a wickedly funny performance that’s introduced to us in a superb long-shot that has Bond’s back to us (tied in chair), and Bardem slowly getting closer as he puts forward a menacing monologue.

In a shoot-out in Parliament, Bond saves M from Silva and gets her to the safety of his boyhood home in the Highlands, an old crumbling castle named Skyfall. That’s where a STRAW DOGS-ish WITNESS-esque tension resonates as we wait for Silva’s killing crew to arrive.

SKYFALL restores gravitas to the series, and has everything you’d want in a modern day Bond movie. First off, it’s got Craig, who I used to think looked more like one of the thugs that would beat up Bond than Bond, putting in his most intense and riveting acting yet in his third performance as 007. 

Also, this time out, Craig’s equipped with quips as SKYFALL has a lot of laugh out loud lines. This is another plus as his previous turns were pretty close to humorless.

It’s got lovely ladies (Marlohe and Harris), a sharp screenplay (by Bond writer veterans Neil Purvis and Robert Wade, along with 007 newcomer John Logan), incredible cinematography (by Roger Deakins), ginormous explosions, a catchy not-bad theme song (by Adele), near perfect pacing, excellent editing (by Stuart Baird), stunning set-pieces, Bond’s classic Aston Martin, and well chosen supporting cast members, such as Ralph Fiennes as a stuffy higher-up of M’s (great nod to olden days when he says “Don’t cock it up, 007”), and the always welcome Albert Finney as the groundskeeper of the Skyfall estate. 

Oh yeah, there’s also a amusingly befuddled Ben Whishaw (also currently in CLOUD ATLAS) as a young Q, you know, Bond’s go-to gadget guy.

Some of Bond's back story may seem Batman-like, i.e. he comes from a rich family and his parents were both killed when he was a wee lad, but it still didn't feel derivative of the Dark Knight. No, SKYFALL has a different agenda - it wants to re-invigorate a franchise, not give us a lavish end-game.

As super heroes, and brainless spectacle (I’m looking at you THE EXPENDABLES) usually dominates the box office these days, it’s wonderful to report that Bond is back and at his best. Way to celebrate your 50th anniversary 007!

Post note: I guess the iconic gun barrel deal is officially now at the end of the Craig/Bond movies, before the credits roll. That's cool, I can dig it.

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Woody Gets His Groove Back! VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA - The Film Babble Blog Review

VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (Dir. Woody Allen, 2008)

Woody Allen’s 43rd film as director is lush, absorbing, and easily his best film in 10 years.


The 4th in his series of films that abandon his long-time cinematic comfort zone of Manhattan for the splendor of a European escapade, Allen is reunited with his most recent muse Scarlett Johansson but this time with terrific not abysmal results.


After the traditional Allen white on black credits (now with Spanish guitar and not big band jazz accompanying) we join Johansson and best friend Rebecca Hall as they get off a plane in Barcelona - they are the Cristina and Vicky of the title. A narrator (Christopher Evan Welch), a device that evokes memories of the docudrama style of HUSBANDS AND WIVES, tells us about our leading ladies' temperments - Johansson is romantically impulsive while Hall is stable, analytic, and most importantly engaged to be married to a buttoned-down reliable but bland Chris Messina.


While dining one night a smooth Spanish painter (Javier Bardem) approaches them and proposes that they join him for a romantic weekend in Oviedo: “We’ll eat well, we’ll drink wine, we’ll make love.” Hall is immediately cynical and put off by Bardem, having heard troubling gossip about his ex-wife, but Johanssen is giddily enchanted which wins over and we're off and running!

Bardem’s ex-wife, the sultry and simultaneously sulking Penélope Cruz, is trouble indeed; she shows up after getting out of the hospital asking for vodka with daggers in her eyes aimed at Johansson as she storms into their life. Possible Spoiler!: both Hall and Johansson have fallen for Bardem by this point which threatens Hall’s marriage and makes murkier the matters of the heart between all of them. What’s never murky is the photography with gorgeous shots of the temples, landscapes, and luxurious patios of Spain framed by cinematographer Javier Aguirresarobe.


The dialogue is crisp and wittier than Woody Allen has given us in ages with even subtitled lines (Cruz and Bardem exchange many private asides in Spanish) stinging as the pace never drags with many expertly crafted uncut tracking shots flowing as the characters themselves flow through the beautiful scenery. Great naturalistic acting from all the principals abounds with supporting turns by the always charming Patricia Clarkson and the underused Kevin Dunn filling out the most colorful Woody Allen movie so far.



With Cruz, the Spanish locale, and Aquirresarobe (Director of Photography on TALK TO HER) it could look at first glance that Allen is aping Aldomovar but the pessimism, views on art and forbidden love, as well as the neurotic behaviour (can’t write a review of a Woody Allen film without some use of the word “neurotic”) is all classic Woody Allen.


If you only know Bardem from his role as the cold blooded killer Chighur in NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN his role here will be a revelation. Johansson does her best work since LOST IN TRANSLATION fully inhabiting her character with flare and much moxie. All the promotional material for this film (the poster, trailer, etc.) for a large part excludes Rebecca Hall (pictured at the top of this review) which is odd because it’s her tortured entanglement that really gives the film its narrative thrust - I suppose she wasn’t enough of a name for the publicity department.


The tedious repitition of worn-out plot points (Hello, MATCH POINT) and the lackluster lines of his last several films is replaced by a passionate and vital sense of purpose (and a great screenplay) which makes for a extremely satisfying meal of a movie.


The only possible reservation I have is for the inclusion of Welch’s voice-over narration; much of the time I thought the film could do without it but I have to admit it contained some insightful and amusing remarks so I’ll leave it be. VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA is a welcome return to form for the Woodman and with his next project, the already completed WHATEVER WORKS with Larry David and Evan Rachel Wood (also featuring Clarkson) here’s hoping he’s on a roll. 

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