SEMI-PRO - Completely Amateurish

SEMI-PRO (Dir. Kent Alterman, 2008)


Does the Will Ferrell sports comedy genre (epitomized in TALLADEGA NIGHTS, KICKING AND SCREAMING, and BLADES OF GLORY) have a future? Does it deserve one? 

Well, judging by this recent entry - no. 

Will Ferrell is undoubtedly one of the biggest comic actors right now - just a week ago he came to my area and performed to a sold-out crowd at a local basketball arena (The Dean Smith Center in Chapel Hill, NC). I doubt sold-out crowds will show for this because even hardcore Ferrell fans will have a hard time finding SEMI-PRO anything but only fitfully funny. And it's more fitful than funny. 

It's set in Flint, Michigan in 1976 - why? Because everyone knows the '70s are funny with their wacky hairstyles and kooky clothing while Flint, an economically troubled crumbling city as Michael Moore has often illustrated, I guess the filmmakers figured also has comic possibilities. 

We meet yet another full-of-himself Ferrell character, Jackie Moon, a one-hit wonder (with the creepy single "Love Me Sexy" that opens the movie) now turned owner / coach / player of the the American Basketball Association's Flint Michigan Tropics. 

His team, of course, is a gaggle of underdog losers who may have to fold because of a merger of the ABA with the NBA. Ferrell makes a deal that if the Tropics finish in the top 4 at the end of the season they can make the move to the NBA. 

Farrell recruits Woody Harrelson (squandering all the cred he just gained with his measured performance in NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN) as a former NBA player, and he ups the promotional ante with gimmicks like corn dog night, clown makeup night, and even gets in the ring with a live bear named Dewey one night to put bums in the seats. So far so bad... 

It's all supposed to be in the realm of "outrageous comedy" but very little amuses here. Co-star André Benjamin (also known as André 3000 of the band Outkast) makes the same mistake Harrelson does - they both act like they're playing real people when they should of cozied up to the cartoon trappings like Ferrell knows to do. 

The rest of the cast is capable - former Conan co-hort Andy Richter is always likable but given little to do, Maura Tierney (Newsradio, E.R.) plays another thankless girlfriend part, and SNL's Kirsten Wiig (as the bear handler) along with Arrested Development's Will Arnett try in vain to get some laugh action. An odd appearance by Jackie Earle Haley, (no stranger to sports comedies with BAD NEWS BEARS back in the day) as a zoned-out hippie who Ferrell screws over because he can't afford to pay him $10,000 Haley won at one of his promo nights, suggests a profound sense of laziness in the screen-writing process but that's evident everywhere. Especially in the tired jabs at lame 70's targets like Pong, Shasta, and Fondue sets that seem like rejects from ANCHORMAN. 

You can't have Will Ferrell and this cast and not have some laughs - a poker table Russian Roulette scene has its moments and there are scattered lines that may elicit chuckles but this is a wasted enterprise overall. 

SEMI-PRO is the worst Will Ferrell film I've ever seen (and yes that includes BEWITCHED) but I'm hoping it offers some hope that the powers that be recognize it as such and scrap all future Ferrell sports projects. Yeah, as if.

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The Film Babble Blog Top 10 Worst Movies Of 2007

Oscar season is now officially over and we've basked in the glory of a great year for film for long enough, so now it's time to look at the not so great movies of 2007.

Actually "not so great" is being too kind - these were wretched evil slabs of celluloid sent from Hell to taint our collective unconscious and will make us all pay a higher psychic price than we can possibly imagine (as the late great comedian Bill Hicks would say). So let's warm our hands on the fire as we throw these movies back to from where they came one by one:

1. WILD HOGS (Dir. Walt Becker)

Hard to believe this was one of the biggest box office hits of the year. It's a CITY SLICKERS-ish mid-life crisis tale with motorcycles instead of horses padded out with bathroom humour, gay-panic jokes, and tired stupid sitcom plotting. We're used to seeing Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, and even John Travolta slumming it in such unfunny cinematic crap but why did William H. Macy and Marissa Tomei have to be dragged down with them? Read my original review here.

2. REDACTED (Dir. Brian DePalma)

This has been a really bad year for films about the Iraq war with audiences staying away from both documentaries like NO END IN SIGHT and dramas like LIONS FOR LAMBS. Of course, it doesn't help the cause when the movie is actually really bad like DePalma's misguided, horribly named, unaffecting mess REDACTED.

Through the conceit that the fictional (though based on a real incident) tale of a troop in Samarra who are involved with the rape and murder of an innocent 14 year old Iraqi girl and the killing of her family is told by one of the soldier's hand held videocams, fake cable TV footage, and simulated YouTube clips we just get the same old bottom line: War Is Hell. Worse yet this obnoxious exercise comes across like it's more down on the troops than the war.

3. Tie: GHOST RIDER (Dir. Mark Steven Johnson) / NEXT (Dir. Lee Tamhori)

A Nicholas Cage double whammy! Actually if I had seen the sequel to the awful NATIONAL TREASURE that came out last December this may have been a triple whammy. In NEXT a clever Philip K. Dick short story is awfully adapted into a boring by-the-numbers action movie formula while GHOST RIDER takes its comic book source and well...also awfully adapts it into an equally lame action movie. Come on Cage! We all know you have another ADAPTATION or WILD AT HEART in you, so why do you have to keep giving us this pap? Read my original review of GHOST RIDER here. 

4. THE NUMBER 23 (Dir. Joel Schumacher) This is the stupidest film in Jim Carrey's entire career and with a filmography that includes the ACE VENTURA movies and especially DUMB AND DUMBER that is really saying something. As a wise-cracking dogcatcher who starts seeing the number of the title everywhere and they start piling up as clues to a long unresolved murder. Wait! It gets stupider - read my original review here.

5. FACTORY GIRL (Dir. George Hickenlooper) A vicious disapointment in the department of biopics of C-List celebrities. Sure, model and 60's "It girl" Edie Sedgewick (played by Sienna Miller) was a wasted vapid Warhol groupie but she deserved better than this putrid portrait. My review is of course, right here.

6. 1408 (Mikael Håfström) John Cusack in a hotel room from Hell. That's pretty much it. Want more of a description of the Stephen King derived suckitude contained within? Click on this. 

7. SHOOT ‘EM UP (Dir. Michael Davis) At one point Clive Owen says: "You know what I hate? I hate those lame action movies where the good guy calls just one person who ends up betraying him." Me? I hate lame action movies like this. Even one in which ace actor Paul Giamatti (talk about slumming it!) plays the bad guy. After CHILDREN OF MEN Owen must have hesitated to do another 'save an important baby from evil forces' movie but maybe he just decided that the price was right. I never reviewed this bombastic blockbuster wannabe for good reason.

8. YEAR OF THE DOG (Dir. Mike White) I like former SNL cast member turned film lead actress Molly Shannon. I like the supporting cast including Regina King, Peter Scaarsgard, John C. Reilly, and Laura Dern. I like screenwriter/director Mike White. Also I like dogs. But I really didn't like this awkward indie comedy, and by the end of it wanted to put it to sleep. Read about how it rubbed me the wrong way here.

9. BUG (Dir. William Friedkin)

A ridiculous conspiracy minded thriller with hammy overacting and silly twists. Normally I love ridiculous conspiracy minded thrillers with hammy overacting and silly twists but Friedkin really doesn't bring it here. Read my review of the DVD here. 

10. THE TEN (Dir. David Wain) 

A sketch comedy film without a single laugh. Paul Rudd, whose smug detachment helps him walk off unscathed from this dreck, is the presenter of 10 vignettes ostensibly based on the morals of the 10 commandments featuring the usually reliable members of comic ensembles from the TV cult favorites The State and Stella who have all done good funny work before. WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER this ain't. My original review? Never wrote one - in fact this is the most I ever want to write about this mean minded offensive unfunny doggerel. Next time I won't mince words.

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Oscars 2008 Recap!

So, it’s the morning after and I’m looking over my predictions. 

None of my wild cards paid off and some of my darts didn’t hit the bulls-eye so what do I got? Well, I don’t know whether to feel comforted or disturbed by the fact that I got EXACTLY the same amount right that I did last year – 13 out of 24. So here’s at ‘em:

1. BEST PICTURE: NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

2. BEST DIRECTOR (S): Joel Coen and Ethan Coen - Though everybody was saying this was a lock I was still somewhat scared that this was wishful thinking. So glad that it happened - it is definitely the Coen Brothers time. Seeing them on stage - Joel stoic and commanding with Ethan cutely quietly fidgeting made them look like the Penn & Teller of movie directors. 

3. BEST ACTOR: Daniel Day Lewis for THERE WILL BE BLOOD.

4. BEST ACTRESS: Julie Christie - WRONG! - Marion Cotillard for LA VIE EN ROSE - As much as I loved Christie in AWAY FROM HER I am not disappointed here. Cotillard's performance was amazing and the award is well deserved. Besides Christie's won before. 

5. BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Hal Holbrook - WRONG! Javier Bardem for NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN - I knew I'd be wrong about this one but didn't care. Bardem was excellent and his short acceptance (hard to call it a speech) 

6. BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Cate Blanchett - WRONG! Tilda Swinton for MICHAEL CLAYTON - This was a real surprise. Still, she did a good job in her role and I liked that backstage afterwards she said winning is often "the kiss of death". Yeah, just ask Cuba Gooding Jr.

7. ART DIRECTION: SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET

8. CINEMATOGRAPHY: Roger Deakins for THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD - WRONG! - Robert Elswit for THERE WILL BE BLOOD - I knew I'd be wrong here but still thought Deakins would win but for NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. I loved TWBB so I'm happy it got 2 major awards.

9. COSTUME DESIGN: ATONEMENT - WRONG! - Elizabeth Byrne for ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE

10. DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: NO END IN SIGHT - WRONG! - TAXI TO THE DARK SIDE

11. DOCUMENTARY SHORT: SARI’S MOTHER - WRONG! - FREEHELD

12. FILM EDITING: THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY - WRONG! - THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM - BOURNE surprisingly swept the technical award categories. Maybe I should see it. 

13. MAKEUP: LA VIE EN ROSE

14. VISUAL EFFECTS: TRANSFORMERS – WRONG! - THE GOLDEN COMPASS - I called it a "no brainer" but I should've remember the Academys track record on this category. I mean E.T. won over BLADE RUNNER for this 25 years ago! 

15. ORIGINAL SCORE: ATONEMENT

16. ORIGINAL SONG: “Falling Slowly” from ONCE - A nice moment during the broadcast was when host Jon Stewart quipped "wow, that guy is so arrogant" after Glen Hansard's humble as Hell acceptance speech. It got a big laugh from the audience and the folks at the Oscar party I was at last night.

17. ANIMATED SHORT: I MET THE WALRUS - WRONG!- PETER AND THE WOLF

18. LIVE ACTION SHORT: AT NIGHT - WRONG! - THE MOZART OF PICKPOCKETS

19. SOUND EDITING: THERE WILL BE BLOOD - WRONG! - THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM

20. SOUND MIXING: THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM

21. ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: JUNO by Diablo Cody - This was the real 'no brainer.'

22. ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: ATONEMENT - WRONG! - NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN adapted by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen.

23. ANIMATED FEATURE FILM: RATATOUILLE

24. FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: THE COUNTERFEITERS 

Okay! So I did no better or no worse than last time out. Sigh. Story of my life.

More later...