Why Film Babble Blog Is Boycotting The New Steve Martin Pink Panther Movies (As If You Couldn’t Guess)

Short answer:

                                   

Long answer:

Come this Friday, with the release of THE PINK PANTHER 2, there will have been 5 Pink Panther films since the great Peter Sellers died in 1980. One was made from Sellers outtakes, 2 of them were failed reboot attempts with actors Ted Wass (as an actual original character named Clifton Sleigh) and Roberto Benigni (as Clouseau’s son), and then in early 2006 a new re-imagining of the series hit the theaters featuring Steve Martin taking on the role of the world famous detective Inspector Clouseau.

It was supposed to be a prequel to the Sellers movies somehow and though it wasn't a direct remake it was just called THE PINK PANTHER. It was met with horrible reviews and outrage over Martin’s wrongness for the part, yet still the film was a huge success making close to $200 million and it did introduce a new generation to the clutzy character.

I just couldn’t bring myself to see the film. Seeing the trailers and TV commercials was bad enough - Martin’s pencil thin mustache, his unconvincing accent, and his forced slapstick was unbearable in small doses so I knew watching the entire film could be akin to a nightmare.

Also I just simply couldn’t believe he was doing it. I grew up with the comic work of Martin as much as I did Sellers. From his stand-up to SNL to a string of still great comedies (THE JERK, THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS, DEAD MEN DON’T WEAR PLAID, ALL OF ME, etc.) I savored the guy’s career. Unfortunately his later film work (with the possible exception of SHOP GIRL) leaves a lot to be desired.

Broad commercial crap like CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN (and its sequel) and BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE typifies his current oeuvre. What I saw of his Clouseau capering looked more in line with the bland family fare of late instead of a desired throw-back to his “wild and crazy guy” days.

And then there’s the case of the actual character Inspector Clouseau (“Chief Inspector!” I hear his ghost correct me). Over 5 films from 1964-1978 (THE PINK PANTHER thru REVENGE OF THE PINK PANTHER) directed by Blake Edwards, Peter Sellers crafted one of the most unique comic creations in film history. As a definitively bumbling police detective who somehow rises in rank at the French Sûreté, Sellers developed a preposterous, yet still believable, overly accented voice and perfected some of the most dangerous looking physical comedy ever seen on the silver screen.

Two years after Sellers’ death, as I previously mentioned, a film was assembled out of mostly unused footage called TRAIL OF THE PINK PANTHER. It was the first attempt to keep the series going and it featured this notable and regrettable title card during the tradtional opening cartoon:



Halfway through the movie they run out of outtakes and we are told that Clouseau is missing. The film then becomes a “best of”-type exercise with former Pink Panther vets (David Niven, Capucine, Burt Kwouk, Graham Stark, etc.) recalling their favorite moments with Clouseau like one of those filler TV episodes full of previous clips. The next in the struggling series was CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER. It involved a new, just as bumbling, detective recruited to track down Clouseau.

Ted Wass, best known for work on the sitcom Soap and as the Dad on Blossom (which means he’s not really known), filled the shoes and actually did a decent job of it but could Edwards really believe he could keep the series flying? Clouseau only appeared at the end played by, wait for it, Sir Roger Moore (which I covered in 20 Great Modern Movie Cameos, June 5th, 2007).

The intrepid detective had plastic surgery to make himself look like the former James Bond after going into hiding for reasons I forget and I just rewatched the damn thing! You see I just got this Blake Edwards Pink Panther DVD boxset from Costco but I digress...

Ten years later there’s another reboot attempt – SON OF THE PINK PANTHER (1993) with Roberto Benigni as Clouseau’s outrageous offspring.

Not much good to report here but it did have the last appearance of series regular Herbert Lom and Claudia Cardinale - who despite playing Princess Dala in THE PINK PANTHER (1964) appeared as Maria Gambrelli here, a character that was played by Elke Sommer in Clouseau’s second screen aventure A SHOT IN THE DARK. Whew! Elements like that make The Pink Panther series to be unquestionably the most inconsistent movie series ever - character and plotline-wise that is. By the way, SON OF... was Edward’s last ever film as director - for so many all too obvious reasons.

After those unsuccessful efforts (TRAIL, CURSE, and SON OF… which at least they were more imaginably titled than with sequel numbers) you’d think that 3 strikes and they’re out but as John Belushi would’ve said “but Noooooooo!”

Earlier this decade, still wanting to keep one of its previous cash cows alive, United Artists announced plans to revive the series and names like Kevin Kline and Mike Myers were tossed around as possible candidates to don the trenchcoat, tweed hat, and apply the fake mustache.

It was indeed shocking that Steve Martin, not a man known for accents or imitations of any kind, got the part and even more shocking was the sight of the first released pictures of him in Clouseau garb. It all just seemed like it couldn’t really be happening – it was just a bad joke, right? Well, yeah a bunch of bad jokes strung together to save a franchise but they were really happening as I could see when ads appeared full of embarrassing clips of the phony Clouseau falling out windows and causing mass destruction at every turn but with none of Sellers’ charm.

This week Roger Ebert in his review of THE PINK PANTHER 2 wrote: “Peter Sellers was a genius who somehow made Inspector Clouseau seem as if he really were helplessly incapable of functioning in the real world and somehow incapable of knowing that. Steve Martin is a genius, too, but not at being Clouseau. It seems more like an exercise.”

I am usually very strict about not judging a movie before I see it but I believe I have incredible amounts of evidence that these movies are abysmal attempts to rekindle the flame that Sellers sparked 40 years ago and that it would further depress and anger me to see them.

With 11% (so far) on the Rotten Tomatometer I seriously doubt that PP2 is going to be THE DARK KNIGHT of comedy sequel reboots but I’m willing to listen to people stick up for the Martin Panther movies. That is if there is actually anyone out there that really likes them. I just can’t go there, you understand? Otherwise I implore my fellow bloggers and readers to stay home, rent an old classic Peter Sellers Pink Panther film this weekend, and avoid this unholy concoction. I’m sure Sellers is tired of spinning in his grave, but I bet by this point he’s probably used to it.

More later…

All This And Hamlet 2 - Several New Release DVD Reviews

ROMAN POLANSKI: WANTED AND DESIRED 

(Dir. Marina Zenovich, 2008)

In an early '80s television interview Roman Polanski, over wine in a ritzy restaurant, casually responds to a question about liking young girls: “Here you come to a concrete case for which I have been behind bars and that’s what you want to talk about.”

So begins this documentary examination of one of the most notorious court battles in American history. For those who don’t know, (which I can’t imagine) in 1977 Polanski was charged with statuary rape, among other things, and after a year of wriggling through rigorous red tape he fled the country never to return. If he does attempt to come back he’ll be immediately arrested despite being forgiven by the girl in question (Samantha Geimer) and her mother years ago.

Most folks know those basics but what this film lays out is all the particular twists and turns that resulted in the legendary director’s exile and it’s a fascinating and well crafted study that plays at times like a tight legal thriller.

Over 30 years later this is still an ongoing case as just today it was reported that Polanski lost a dismissal bid by the Los Angeles County court system. As we see in tons of TV news footage and vintage photographs, Polanski is small in stature usually sporting a bemused expression under his Beatle-esque mop top. His work though was never small in stature – the classics CHINATOWN, ROSEMARY’S BABY, and his Oscar win for THE PIANIST confirm this.

Polanski was roundly criticized by the press after the tragic death of his wife Sharon Tate for appearing to not be in enough mourning for their liking so when this incident broke they had a ferocious field day. This is good news for the film makers here because they never seem to be at a loss for the proper accompanying shot or sound bite to tell the story. Polanski only speaks from footage and interviews from the period but lawyers, press, colleagues, and most interestingly Geimer provide much insight into the complications and frustrations involved.

The film takes its title from a quote from French producer Andrew Braunsberg: “In France he’s desired and in America he’s wanted.” That defines the culture difference that court reporter Richard Brenneman explained best: “The European reporters looked on Polanski as a tragic brilliant historic figure…the American press tended to look at him as this malignant twisted dwarf with this dark vision.”

The film only falters when it utilizes scenes from Polanski’s movies to illustrate certain points – it really isn’t necessary to have a clip of Mia Farrow dialing a phone from ROSEMARY’S BABY when somebody talks about getting an urgent call. As the film progresses however, these bits of his filmography are filtered in more effectively and arguably the flavor of his fine (for the most part) work should have a place in this portrait. As intriguing and informative as a documentary can get, this is vital viewing and not just for film buffs though obviously that’s who it’ll most appeal too.

HAMLET 2 (Dir. Andrew Fleming)

Poor Steve Coogan. Like his fellow brilliant Brit blokes Simon Pegg and Ricky Gervais he’s finding it hard to carve out a niche in the American comedy movie marketplace dominated by Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, and the ever present Apatow academy. This didn’t make much of a dent when it came out late last summer but it didn’t matter because Coogan was concurrently rubbing elbows with some of that comic crowd in TROPIC THUNDER (albeit briefly before blowing up).

For his starring role in this wannabe indie quirkfest he sure gives a go of it as a high school drama teacher with delusions of grandeur in Tucson Arizona (“where dreams go to die” he laments). When he finds out that the drama program will be cut he stages the improbable sequel of the title in an odd attempt to save it. Coogan cites teacher inspirational movie fare like DANGEROUS MINDS and MR. HOLLAND’S OPUS when trying to connect to his class but there’s very little that’s poetic about his soon to be dead society.

With Catherine Keener as his unsatisfied sarcastic spouse it’s like SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK but with the artistic existential angst replaced with hit and very miss one-liners! Well, not really – I just couldn’t resist the reference. There are a number of genuine laughs throughout but they don’t stack up into anything resembling classic comedy. It’s too broad, only occasionally cutting, and Coogan is so over the top with his character that his antics would make Jim Carrey cringe.

The Keener subplot involving a live-in David Arquette (who I keep mistaking for Ryan Gosling) should have been excised completely and the supposed show stopping song “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” frankly isn’t that funny either.

Still any movie that has an over eager Amy Poehler assisting Coogan in chewing the scenery and Elizabeth Shue playing herself isn’t a complete waste of time. If only it was named HAMLET 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO – then maybe we’d really have something here.


STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS (Dir. David Feloni, 2008)

I guess because I grew up on the original trilogy I feel obligated to see every movie under the STAR WARS banner. Despite the fact I hated the prequels, dislike the video game style of the animation I saw in awful trailers, and all the terrible reviews (it’s at 19% at RottenTomatoes.com) I still put this in my Netflix queue when it dropped on DVD. 

I know this bloated pilot for the Cartoon Network series is intended to be for children but I watched most of it with my Brother’s 3 kids last Christmas and when I said “hey, it’s 6:00 – should we keep watching or switch to a Simpsons rerun?” They all screamed “Simpsons!”

My sentiment exactly for this is a stone cold bore from its opening intergalactic newsreel replacing the sacred scroll to its stock celebratory ending. Somewhere in between there is bland battle after battle with lasers, explosions, close call escapes, and scores of other action that I couldn’t muster any enthusiasm for.

Plot you ask? I know you didn’t ask but it’s about Jabba the Hut’s son (who for some odd reason seems based on Truman Capote) being kidnapped and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker (voiced by James Arnold Taylor and Matt Lanter) being called upon to save him to preserve the Republic or some such. Sounds riveting, right?

A new annoying character to the misguided mix is added - Ashley Eckstein as Jedi trainee/weird orange freak Ahsoka Tano. She brings her own brand of obnoxious banter as she calls Anakin “Sky Guy” while she bounces through the confusing tangled terrain of this sci-fi crapfest.

The voices of prequel veterans Samuel L. Jackson and Christopher Lee fail to spark the STAR WARS spirit and even a late third act cameo by C-3PO (Anthony Daniels) can’t save this animated abomination.

George Lucas should be more ashamed by this than for The Star Wars Holiday Special. Don’t worry I’m not going to claim my childhood was raped but damn, it did cower in the corner for a bit after enduring this.

X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (Dir. Chris Carter, 2008)

“I’m done chasing monsters in the dark” says former agent now full time Doctor Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) and apparently so is X-Files creator/writer/director Chris Carter because this is strangley stripped of the supernatural elements that were the bread and butter of the TV show and the 1998 movie (X-FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE).

There’s no cigarette smoking man , no lone gunmen, and most surprisingly – no aliens. In other words everything that was cool about the X-Files is absent.

A bearded Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) is yet again needed by the FBI after years of being hunted by them. He’s reluctant at first to help them with the case of several missing women, one of them an agent, but of course he shaves while Anderson dons her one of her best '90s professional pant suits and they rev up the old trusty X-Files Mystery Machine van onto a road into the wilderness chasing adventures while blaring Mark Snow’s immortal theme song on their vehicle’s sound system. Okay, I mostly made that up because I was so disinterested in what really happened.

It all begs the question – why bring back Duchovny, Anderson, and Mitch Pileggi as Walter Skinner for a plot that’s just one step removed from an Ashley Judd/Morgan Freeman formula thriller? It doesn’t make sense to just drop tidbits about the not-so superduo’s child and Mulder’s long lost sister instead into diving head first into what fans want and deserve – that is, to actually be X-Files.

The first film was creepy fun, this is just creepy. Real life subjects like Duchovny’s addiction to internet porn and the case of Anderson’s missing career * would be more compelling than this. Carter said that if this movie was successful there would be a third film that would deal with aliens and all the conspiracy stuff that this severely lacked. Well, the film bombed but I still hope he’ll make a third one solely to serve as an apology. I wanted to believe that this film didn't suck but alas, it’s as bad as its title.


* I know that’s a cheap shot. Anderson has actually been in a few recent notable movies such as THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND and TRISTHAM SHANDY: A COCK AND BULL STORY with Steve Coogan recently.

Okay, so that makes one excellent documentary, a fair only fitfully funny comedy, and 2 franchise failures. Hope my next batch of Netflix envelopes will be much better.

More later…

The Film Babble Blog Top Ten Movies Of 2008

Like last year, I held off making this post earlier because there were several contenders I hadn’t seen yet. It seems my area is the last to get certain movies in current circulation. Also, I still haven’t seen a number of movies I see making other ‘Top Ten’ lists including WALTZ FOR BASHIR, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, and FROZEN RIVER among many others that are filling my NetFlix queue right now. Of course, nobody could see every movie in the running so now is as good a time as any to list my favorites. So here’s my Top Ten:

1. SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK (Dir. Charlie Kaufman)

It got snubbed by the Academy and many critics dissed on Kaufman’s epic tragicomic (as Wikipedia calls it) but I loved every sad sordid symbolic second. Philip Seymour Hoffman as the literally crumbing playwright Cayden Cotard builds sets inside of sets inside a ginormous warehouse recreating New York with New Yorkers and the actors that play them – including him. Joining him is maybe the best female ensemble cast ever assembled for such a movie - Catherine Keener, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Hope Davis, Samantha Morton, Emily Watson, Michelle Williams, and the great Diane Wiest. Maybe it was just too cerebral and complex to catch on but I believe time will lay waste to much of the competition while this beyond meta-masterpiece will still stand strong. My original review is right here.

2. WALL-E (Dir. Andrew Stanton)

Such a dark dystopian premise for such a cute heartwarming movie that plays beautifully like sci-fi Chaplin. Wall-E (I’m sure you well know but I’ll tell you again anyway) is a garbage compacting robot left behind on Earth hundreds of years from now who falls in love with a search probe (who by design looks like a large iPod) sent by the Buy N Large Corporation. It doesn’t sound like the sort of stuff that would make one swoon but Pixar yet again proves they can do anything from making rats lovable (and here that extends to cockroaches) to making us believe robots can love. An animated instant classic as my original review proclaimed.

3. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (Dir. Danny Boyle)

There’s been an odd mini comment war on my original review of this delightful yet edgy Mumbai success story, which goes to show that this was one of the most talked about and vital movies of the year. It’s an amazing spectacle from start to finish with protagonist taking us through his hard knock life by way of a glittery game show – the Indian version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. As the comments on my post suggest, some folks could’nt get past the violence or what they thought was an inaccurate cultural depiction but dammit, I thought it was a stone cold blast! I’ll bet (again literally) it’ll win Best Picture at the Oscars.

4. FROST/NIXON (Dir. Ron Howard) Nice to see Opie Cunningham take a break from the dumb DaVinci Codage and revisit his old 70’s stomping ground to take on everybody’s favorite nemesis – Nixon. These were definitely not Happy Days though for the impeached President (played magnificently by Frank Langella) making a $huge$ deal for a series of TV interviews with the slickly ambitious David Frost (Michael Sheen) while in self-imposed exile in California. As riveting as a round in the ring with “The Ram” (see next entry) this showdown scores on every front with ace casting (in addition to the leads – Kevin Bacon, Sam Rockwell, Rebecca Hall,and Oliver Platt mull about entertainingly), a great screenplay by Peter Morgan (THE QUEEN), and Howard’s best direction in ages. My original review? Oh yeah, it’s here.

5. THE WRESTLER (Dir. Darren Aronofsky) Yeah, it’s true – Mickey Rourke is back and I’ll be surprised as Hell if he doesn’t take

home the gold come February because nobody else literally went to the mat like this! Call it a comeback for Randy “The Ram” Robinson who may be washed up and working at a supermarket estranged from his daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) while pinning for a stripper (Marisa Tomei) but he’s overdue for redemption even if it means he’s going down for the count. This character is going down in cinema history for sure – read my original review for more gushing about this gritty gutsy grabber of a movie.

6. THE FALL (Dir. Tarsem Singh)

This fantastical visually splendorific film is all the more impressive because it contains no CGI. It’s a colorful joyful ride through fairy tale conventions which, crazily enough, orginates from a tale told in the 1930’s by a injured stuntman (Lee Pace) as a bargaining tool to get a young girl (Catinca Untaru) to break in to their hospital’s sanctuary to steal morphine for him. It’s vivid and emotional in all the right places with folks appearing WIZARD OF OZ style both in real life and the fantasy scenerios. Again you can read my praising review here.

7. THE DARK KNIGHT (Dir. Chris Nolan)

The more you think about it, the more flawed this film is. Batman’s (Christian Bale) exaggerated gravelly voice, ersatz plot elements like ‘hey, what happened to the folks at the skyscraper party after Rachel (Maggie Gyllenhall) was rescued by the caped crusader?’, and the unnecessary Hong Kong subplot (ThePlaylist jabbed some of these complaints funnily enough here). All may rub movie logical minds wrong but what did work here is arguably as good as movies can get. Heath Ledger’s amazing performance as the demented Joker was precision defined while the Gotham grandeur frighteningly filled every frame. Read me clumsily reach for more operatic poetry here.

8. IRON MAN (Dir. Jon Favreau)

Another superhero movie sure, but with Robert Downey Jr. in the metallic title role, Gwyneth Paltrow as the love interest, and Jeff Bridges as his adversary, it’s one Hell of a superhero movie! Downey Jr. is both intense and funny as Tony Stark and the streamlined shiny production surrounding him is perfectly provided by Favreau. Yep, a class action movie as I reported last summer here.

9. THE VISITOR (Dir. Thomas McCarthy) I was elated that Richard Jenkins was nominated for a best actor award for this fine understated Indie movie that many ignored late last Spring (Mind you - I don’t think he’ll win). As a displaced professor who finds 2 illegal immigrants (Haaz Sleiman and Danai Jekesai Gurira) living in his New York apartment and forms an unfortunately brief friendship, Jenkins finds a graceful ingratiating tone and a note that will resonate long after a single viewing. Yep, more here.

10. VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (Dir. Woody Allen)

More than just a fine return to form, the Woodman gives us a lush and lavish look at the loony intertwined coupling that the ladies of the title encounter on their trip abroad. Javier Bardem woos Scarlet Johansen, Rebecca Hall, and what Allen has before called a “Kamikaze woman” - wife Penélope Cruz (she may yet woo the Academy). We’re all woo-ed in the end - well, at least I was. Read all about it here.

Spillover:

Again, the ones that didn't quite make the Top Ten grade but were still good, sometimes great flicks - click on the title for my original review.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (Dir. David Gordon Green) A great Apatow-appoved comedy that like the next few titles got the Spillover shaft by my silly blog.

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL (Dir. Nicholas Stoller)

TROPIC THUNDER (Dir. Ben Stiller)

MAN ON WIRE (Dir. James Marsh) Great intense doc in which even the re-creations make for great cinema.

4 MONTHS, 3 WEEKS, AND 2 DAYS

GRAN TORINO (Dir. Clint Eastwood) It got strangely shut out come award season (which is strange because the Academy loves Clint) but it’s a strong addition to the Eastwood canon.

SHINE A LIGHT (Dir. Martin Scorsese)

One of the world’s greatest directors filming one of the world’s greatest bands - maybe I’m just biased because I was blown away by the movie at an IMAX theater last Spring but I still think it’ll hold up as one of the best concert films ever in years to come.

W. (Dir. Oliver Stone)

BURN AFTER READING (Dirs. Ethan Coen & Joel Coen, 2008) Trivial throw-away Coen Brothers fare still makes for great movie-time in my book - or on my blog that is.

MILK (Dir. Gus Vant Sant) Biopicalicious!

More later...